living like larry

My five year plan is to just see what happens

I Was So Good And Polite They Are Putting Me In The Touch Tank At Aquarium Tomorrow.

not everything is getting worse. at least you don't hear high hopes by panic at the disco every day anymore

having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well I’m off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and you’re like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible

And you are older than them

i think the angriest ive ever made someone on reddit was when they used an emoji while arguing and i said "What is this tiny yellow picture"

My biggest fear is sucking my own dick on top of a snowy mountain and losing my balance so I roll down it and turn into a huge snowball all the way to the base of the mountain then months later they find my body and it’s just a frozen skeleton self sucking.

hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead

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