You Can Lick Anything Into Absolute Nothingness

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

I love tumblr because somehow I can end up being mutuals with a celebrity (someone that wrote a fic that I loved)

No one can see how badly I want it :)

I know Emma Woodhouse would have been writing RPF

two men will watch a movie together and instead of having sex afterwards they record a podcast about it

unfortunately no one has yet succeeded in inventing anything sexier than concepts and power dynamics. but im waiting.

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

[desperately horny voice] haha yeah did you know that studies have shown that vocal expressions of pain actually increase your pain tolerance? yeah, even if it's volitional, you should really be making lots of loud noises while you're in pain. please. if you want we can even practice right now.