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THIS FUCKING GUY

JUST GOT STRAIGHT UP FRAMED BY HIS BEST FRIEND

WAS SENT TO HIS DEATH BY HIS OTHER FRIENDS

ALMOST GOT KILLED IN A BOTCHED EXECUTION

CAME BACK LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER

AND STRAIGHT UP FORGIVES ALL OF THEM IN A HEARTBEAT NO QUESTIONS ASKED

LOOK AT THIS GUY

SOME OF YA’LL MOTHERFUCKERS CAN’T EVEN FORGIVE SOMEBODY ON THIS SITE FOR HAVING AN OTP YOU CAN’T AGREE WITH

am i capable of writing it? yes

would it even take that long to write it? no

would i feel awesome if i wrote it? absolutely

am i writing right now? no

#oh my god

Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.

Think about it.

Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.

Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.

They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.

Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.

The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.

But this… This is something else.

The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.

ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)

this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)

“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)

‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)

and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)

which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)

In 1989, President Bush sent troops to Panama to capture the dictator and drug lord, Manuel Noriega. But Noriega had fled to (I had to look up the full name) the Apostolic Nunciature of the Holy See. The troops couldn’t exactly get in, so they surrounded the place and has to wait him out, or somehow force him out. And it’s crazy how they did it. The literal United States Navy SEALs did this And it is real history

They blasted rock and roll music for days until he gave up

Apparently, Noriega only liked opera, so this annoyed him. But it gets better. The playlist was not only obnoxiously loud and obnoxiously American, it had a sense of irony. Here are some highlights:

Danger Zone Freedom Fighter Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down Give It Up I Fought the Law and the Law Won If I Had a Rocket Launcher Nowhere to Run Panama Paranoid Prisoner of Rock and Roll Rock and a Hard Place Stay Hungry They’re Coming to Take Me Away This Means War Wanted Dead or Alive

And my personal favorite, and a thing that actually happened: Never Gonna Give You Up

- gay

Cons of writing gay relationships:

Best way to deal with this: Use the pronouns a teensy bit more than you maybe feel is sufficient. Leave the fic for two days before editing (i.e. allow yourself to forget it a little). Come back and re-read. If at any point YOU can’t tell who’s doing what to whom, put names in. Leave the rest of the pronouns.

Also, for dialogue: use characterization instead of names. Let it be clear by the things that are said, the way they are said, who is saying them.

How is this adorable pun-making dork

The same as this (sas)erious rank one investigator

And this “touch one hair on my squad and you die” badass

The same as this caring single mother of four

Who’s a breathtaking beauty

But also incredibly handsome

Not to mention a skilled fighter that can take on three two single handedly and has won an award for his exemplary skills as a ghoul investigator

But is also a major bookworm who keeps a banana poster in his bedroom

JUST HAISE SASAKI