vass

Have a listen to my choral setting of text post memes that originated right here on tumblr!

My piece, Copypasta (performed here by the First Readings Project) is in three movements and uses these texts:

Spiders Georg by @reallyreallyreallytrying

Hot Plum by @utopians

I Think That's Beutiful by @nerdgul

Sheet music is available here.

ID: A youtube comment with 11 likes by Niceone, it says "I've lived 46 years without knowing this. How nice of life to save some of the best bites for later." End ID.

you would receive the supply once a month

the brand/type will vary so you could

Hiroshi Nagai's paintings need sunglasses to look at.

They look like how it feels to walk across a parking lot on a 98° summer day without a speck of shade in sight.

They look like heaven but also like you'd burn your bare feet on the ground.

Even when you can see shade you know it's not enough and the minute you step out you'll be burnt to a crisp like a vampire.

This feels like I could trip on that radio and fall right into that water, feeling the crystal waves as I drop in.

And this, a nice stroll down a resort strip, where my sunscreened skin could literally feel cooked if I leaned too close to the tiling.

And then a nice stretch of summer street, wherein you could see your face in the flushed red of that car provided it didn't blind you from its sunny reflections.

Elderly is basically like 70-75+. Definitely 80+.

There’s a lot of hate on widowers and I saw a woman say “You cannot compete with a dead woman.” which is perhaps a reasonable statement to say if he’s constantly comparing you to his dead partner but that wasn’t what the post was about. And I realized “Oh my God, these people genuinely feel like they’re constantly in competition with their spouse’s exes and the ex being dead makes them feel insecure that they cannot best her.”

1) I am widowed. my Beloved Wife of Blessed Memory(tm) died in 2019

2) I got together with my current partner about 18 months later

3) when I am committing acts of Foolishness my current partner loves to gesture at the sky to my dead wife, like "do you see this shit, my liege" and regularly says to me things like "[wife's name] was right about this" when my Foolishness inevitably comes back to bite me in the ass

4) this happens. all the time

more importantly:

5) my current partner is on tumblr

6) they love to incessantly send me posts

WHICH MEANS:

7) they just sent me this post with this commentary:

im seeing people fact-check this in the notes so i'll add that the full inscription is "marcosior maternia" and if you search that in google scholar you'll find lots of sources. it might not be true but it's definitely real, by which i mean that scholars don't know for sure what "marcosior maternia" means but this is a common interpretation. it's written on a spindle whorl (little weights that are used in spinning) and there's actually a lot of spindle whorls from roman gaul that have sort of amatory inscriptions on them, so they might have been gifts for lovers but it's not clear, but anyway a sexual meaning is perfectly expected for this type of object, and maternia looks like a woman's name in either the nominative or instrumental case, and marcosior looks like a passive verb related to the word for 'horse' in a desiderative or future form. so "i want to be ridden by maternia", "i will be ridden by maternia", and "maternia will be ridden" are some of the plausible interpretations.

things fall apart and there’s anarchy everywhere; falcons fly freely and can’t be compelled.

Dimming the tide there is blood in the water and everywhere customs of innocence drowned.

Held by the worst is a fervent intensity; lacking conviction the best run aground.

Surely there must be some kind of apocalypse; surely epiphany must be at hand!

Visions unbidden from Spiritus Mundi of something awakening out on the sand:

Head of a man with a leonine frame and a pitiless gaze that’s as blank as the sun;

sleep became nightmare by passage of centuries long before eons of slumber were done.

Higgledy piggledy, beast of antiquity, imminent, just as the prophecies warn,

Tags that read as follows:

#so when I was in schooling for power plant work #my applied electrical theory instructor told us abt this thing his crew had #called The Load Toad #who was a totemic frog statue that was long ago bought for the plant #and was displayed over the switchboard for all the distributed loads (hence the name) #apparently The Load Toad was a force everyone in electrical division sincerely believed needed to be appeased #and the ritual for doing so involved the blood of a virgin (easy to get in a nuclear power plant tbh) and chicken bones #you'd burn the bones in a burning bowl after splashing them with the virginal sacrifice #ANYWAYS apparently one time they got a new head who was either devout Methodist or Mormon I forget #and he made them stop like all of that with firing threats n criminal threats too #then every day for a month 4 loads would randomly inexplicably fail #at first he blamed the men for acting out the Toad's vengeance #but after babysitting down in the pit himself he could see that all the failures were borderline miraculous n impossible to anticipate #so without admitting his wrong he just threw a kfc bucket full of bones into the breakroom and curtly said "just make it stop" #moral of the story I actually agree with this sentiment

And one about a piece of cardboard taped under a desk. If it was removed, the entire internet would go down on the floor. There was nothing special about it, nothing hidden in it. It was just cardboard.