The Void

Bruce: “Sometimes I really worry about you.”

Jason, loading his guns: “What about the other times?”

Let’s be Formal with Mama

“Damian!” “Kent! Put me down!”

Dick: “You know Dames, you can’t spell ‘independent,’ without ‘dependent.’” ☺️❤️

Damian: “And you can’t spell ‘Go f*ck yourself without f*ck you!”

Bruce: “Jason is late. Again.”

Alfred: “I woke him at 8 and pretended it was 11, as requested.”

Tim: “I wrote a fake schedule saying we were starting at nine instead of twelve.”

Damian: “I changed his clock from AM to PM.”

Dick: “Oh no, we may have overdone it.”

So, the book ‘Stellaluna,’ was a big deal in my house growing up. If you haven’t read it, it’s a picture book about a baby bat (named Stellaluna) who gets separated from her mother and is trying to find her. Stellaluna stays with a bird family for a while before realizing she doesn’t belong with them. She eventually reunites with her Mother, and it’s the sweetest thing. Now imagine Bruce reading that book to his young kids, especially Damian. Imagine?? All the parallels???With the bird family being the League and Bruce being the mother bat????

Bruce: “See? Stellaluna found her family!”

Little Damian: “What if she gets lost again? Will she find them again?”

Bruce: “Of course! Bats always take care of their babies, no matter what.”

Or-

Little Damian: “The birds taught Stellaluna to eat bugs! That’s not what fruit bats do.”

Bruce: “You’re right, the birds have different rules.”

Damian: “Do…do you think her mother is mad at Stellaluna for following those rules?”

Bruce: “Why did you think that was a good idea?”

Dick: “Sometimes I see chickens and I feel bad, but then I eat chicken and I just feel so good.”

Jason: “That’s what they make drugs for. I don’t need therapy.”

Tim: “Three pounds of caffeine? I’m gonna be awake for weeks!”

Damian: “Speaking of pain and misery, please stop singing.”

Cass: “The only America I can swear loyalty to starred in ‘Barbie.’”

Steph: “Dare me to lick it?”

Duke: *Relieved sigh* “The basement chicken is still there.”

Bruce: “Don’t worry, it gets worse.”

Dick: “I cannot stop thinking about that cat’s chewing.”

Jason: “Who told you that you could dip into my cheese?!”

Tim: “It’s okay, I have adderall so I can do whatever I want!”

Damian: “That sweatshirt makes you look terrible.”

Cass: “I prefer eating salad in private…”

Steph: “All through the creature the house was stirring,”

Duke: “I’m gonna need to write so much fan fiction to get over this….”

*Dick and Tim are waiting in an elevator, about to fight some people*

Dick: “Hey, let’s do ‘get help,’

Tim: “No! I hate ‘get help,’ it’s humiliating!”

Dick: “It’s awesome, it works every time!”

Tim: “I’m not doing ‘get help.’”

*Elevator doors ding*

Dick, carrying a limp Tim: “My brother, he’s hurt! Get help! Get help!”

*In the batcave*

Damian: “I am telling you, I’m fine! I remember being thrown through the wall, and then the ambulance arriving.”

Bruce: “That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you.”

Damian: “Then what was that siren?”

Bruce: “That was your brother.”

Dick: “I was not that loud!”

A rare sunny day in Gotham. Bruce finds Damian on the roof with a lawn chair, reading ‘Great Expectations’ to the Batcow.

Bruce: “Damian, what are you doing up here?”

Damian: “Gotta keep the tan up. It’s not a skin color, it’s a lifestyle, Father.”

Bruce: “…”

Damian: “See, you wouldn’t know that because you’re white as a GHOST.”

Bruce: “…”

*Grappling around Gotham on patrol*

Red Robin: *The faint wheezing of a dying harmonica*

Batman: "What's wrong? You sound like death."

Red Robin: *Strangled cat sounds* "I'm fine, just winded."

Batman: "Winded-? Wait. Are you binding."

Red Robin: *Pretending not to be gasping for breath* "Not at all why"