#spoiler dc

Batman: Black and White (2020) #5

and like, he’d drop it at the most random times, because he genuinely doesn’t believe it’s all that interesting.

so here’s some good potentials.

dinner at wayne manor-

duke: so like, a cult is-

bruce, without pausing his eating or looking up: i was kidnapped by a cult when i was eighteen. they wanted to drain my blood.

everyone:

tim: what the fuck bruce

alfred, passing through: ah yes, i had almost forgotten. no one speak his name, or he will know master bruce survived.

the rest of the table:

in the batcave-

jason: being buried alive is a very traumatizing experience, i’ll have you know.

bruce: yeah, i got mud all in my mouth cause it was raining.

the kids:

bruce: oh, and i broke the casket when i finally got it open, so i had to get my dad a new one.

jason: what the fuck

on patrol-

steph: hey, bruce! if you were to go back in time, would you go to, like, fifties bop or midwestern cowboys

bruce: well, the midwestern cowboys were sort of fun, but there was this one guy shooting everyone with a gun from the future, and i had to fight robot pterodactyls. so i guess if i didn’t have to deal with that, the widwestern would be more fun.

the coms:

barbara: bruce what the fuck

the dinner table, again-

dick: i’m just saying, arkham isn’t the best mental institution to base your opinion on.

bruce: it was a lot worse in the eighties. the food was awful and the doctor only wanted to experiment on me.

the kids:

dick: what the fuck

alfred, passing through: master bruce, how many times do i need to apologize for that before you cease bringing it up?

bruce:

the batcave, again-

damian: from what i’ve researched, dent was fairly intelligent before he succumbed to his insanity, and-

bruce: actually, harvey cheated off of me whenever he could, which didn’t actually make any sense, because he was studying law and i was studying medicine, but most of those grades are mine, anyways. and some are probably harley’s and john’s, i’d bet.

everyone:

duke: what the fuck

on a stakeout-

jason: i’m just saying, old man. if you’d kill the joker i-

bruce: well, i did try.

jason:

bruce: stupid kryptonians getting in the way.

jason:

the coms:

jason: what the fuck.

on patrol, again-

cass: poison ivy and harley quinn were spotted downtown, two of us should-

bruce: oh! i forgot i scheduled dinner with them. you kids have patrol covered, right?

the coms:

damian: what the fuck

in the living room, watching an action movie-

bruce: this reminds me of the time i climbed mount everest.

the kids:

stephanie: what the fuck ?

in the hall, looking at the new family portrait-

bruce: you know, when i was a kid i tried to get alfred into the family portrait because he was dating my parents and we all wanted him to be a part of the painting, but he refused.

the kids:

alfred: master bruce, really?