i can be your dog or your bullet

if you've ever applied for a job you deserve 50 million dollars in financial compensation

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

Everybody in the club Yield to my will

the intensity of my desires are normal. (←lying)

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

i heard my nephew got enslaved by cave bugs

wait to post about this until you’ve confirmed it

sorry

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode