Gotta Go... FAST

😩 i cant deal with this dawg

Wh-why is the crotch of the illustrative drawing censored???

touching my penis for good luck

you kid, but it *is* quite literally touching your balls, not for good luck but to ward off jinxes. like, someone will mention illness or something tragic that might happen, and men will automatically touch their balls out of superstition

They say that when you're giving a cat scritches, you should also take the opportunity to squoosh their pad paws, fiddle with their ears, make them do little dances, etc. to whatever extent they're willing to tolerate without distress, because working to build positive associations with being handled in this way will make medical examination and treatment much easier in the future. How fortunate, then, that this is exactly what 90% of cat owners are instinctively driven to do anyway.

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

The Hat Man is our greatest export

Ah lads they fucking rotated him

Best post I've seen all day