The (angerious) Fish of all fish

if we normalized the adult equivalent of a quinceañera for ages 25 30 35 and so on and so forth we would see less divorce and that’s because we would see less marriages between people who aren’t actually in love it’s just some woman really desperately wants to be the center of attention for a day and have a huge expensive party in her honor and she doesn’t even like her man she just likes her instagram page

why are you losing your mind over what kind of flowers you have and why are you bankrupting yourself for onnnneeee dayyyyyy and you don’t even want to listen to your man’s input bc you see him as a manchild anyway. girl. walk away

Like to charge, reblog to cast?

The original design outright sucks and I cannot believe the shift from saccharine disney furries to grungy taxidermy creatures is at all controversial.

villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman

this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.

now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.

on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.

These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.

Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.

This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But don’t judge a book by its cover—while his appearance and demeanor suggest “villain”, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If you’re secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.

if i were a woman, i would tweet “ginger snapped so jennifer could body”, but i’m not a woman, and i don’t use twitter, and i haven’t seen jennifer’s body, and i don’t make a lot of money or have a car or look nice

and i don’t dress well or know how to tie any knots besides the regular one you tie your shoes with. my taste in music is lacking and i need a haircut

nobody talks about how Instagram’s algorithm is killing mentally ill teenagers anymore. my entire feed should not be videos of people mourning their loved ones that killed themselves. I did not follow these people. why are you programming me to associate killing myself with recieving the reward of love and attention. STOP IT!!!!!

this is actually where it becomes incredibly difficult for disabled transgender people. if your disability means you cannot live alone, that you must have care, and you rely on other people for survival - transitioning can become a pipe dream. sometimes it's "live with your transphobic family or die". sometimes disabled people aren't given the autonomy to express themselves by their caregivers and have no way on asserting their gender. if someone helps you put on your clothes and they decide you can only wear one kind there's no choice in the matter. if you need disability aids to communicate with people or have a condition that impairs your communication ability then you can't just come out and transition. you don't get to say "i'll ignore you if you call me by the wrong name" because you can't afford for them to ignore you, nevermind the other way around. gender affirming care is often acknowledged as live saving healthcare. and disability support is also life saving healthcare. and transgender disabled people can't afford to just pick one or the other.