Some people call it reality, some people call it âdramaâ
Bcoz every Christmas day,
hoping that one day I will be home everyday.
I canât be with my family,
relatives and true friends.
Not just on Christmas day,
but for all occasions here in abroad,
theyâs think itâs good,
and itâs beautiful here in abroad,
However, they donât know how expensive eveything is and name it.
If I donât shop at Walmart,
A Dollar store, and at the second handstore,
I canât save for our Balik Bayan boxes to send to the Philippines for our love ones.
I try to save money to be home,
But! I canât bcoz I make them my priority
To provide their needs. Specially when they said:
uh! I need this, papa and mama need this and need that! canât say anything but to swallow liquid from my body tears to my eyes and I canât let them go hungry.
Even though I said itâs time to rest, less than 3 months I regret, I canât refuse to it but help.
I want them to try and taste what I ate and itâs my happiness.
Their tears is my burden,
Their fears, is making me scared.
Trying to earn that money to proceed the life I wanted
But I donât have savings on my pocket or bank accounts improvement.
Just to make sure they are okay,
That makes me fall asleep with a smile on my face and peace in my head at night.
Talk to a pet or sorroundings without anybody with me,
I sometimes feel my anxiety.
My tears will flow without voices against the world.
Itâs hard when youâre lonely with hunger of love from anybody.
Who can give it to me unconditionally.
Behind my smile there is a strong word to tell a story that you might donât understand.
Itâs unrecognizable pain deep in my nerves that shakes me and makin me weak.
Oh! when I dream to unite my family
I just closed my eyes and think of them eveyday.
and this is part of my story in abroad baby.