Not today Justin

oozey mess
ojovivo
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

if i look back, i am lost

shark vs the universe

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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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$LAYYYTER
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@mrvaidya

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thinking abt how fucked up steam engine boiler explosions can look. theyre just pipes under there
gives me the idea of a ghost/monster engine that looks normal, albeit a bit battered, only to swing their smokebox door open and a myriad of pipes come bursting out like fucked up tentacles
I didnāt know a train could be an eldritch horror, but here we are.
The Call of C'thchoochoo.
"Gandalf, buddy? What have you got there?"
"Oh him? That my emotional support hobbit."
"Uh huh. And what he got?"
"That's my hobbit's emotional support hobbit."
"And I suppose those two are also emotional support hobbits as well?"
"No, of course not. Those two are my emotional distress hobbits."
".....?"
"Keeps me on my toes."
Hey students, hereās a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while youāre seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up withĀ ādear hello, I am sick and not sure if Iāll be alive to come tomorrow and Iām sorry, best slutantions, [name]ā.
I mean, if someone wrote that to me, Iād probably believe they were sick.
āSlutantionsā has me crying laughing
i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.
āI amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry
love,
blueā
the subject line was āOWā
THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN āOWā
As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.
On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class Iād passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line āyou good?ā
Reblogging for the last addition
Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so thereās about a month and a half block of time where Iām taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.
Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldnāt come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like āNot sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.ā I didnāt think until the next day that it probably wasnāt socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you werenāt coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that sheād printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.
Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.
IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.
Itās even worse than i remember it
I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.
Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email āDead cant class soryā
i was very sick over new years and one day i woke up to find i had emailed my manager in the middle of the night:
she said it was the most beautiful sick email sheās ever gotten
what is time but an endless all consuming miasma of void ,?
Fun fact: due to the ongoing financial support from the people of tumblr, critically endangered pygmy raccoons being rehabbed in Cozumel are now able to get vaccines for deadly diseases like distemper and rabies before they are released.

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theĀ āsexy lamp testā but for disabled folks: if you can replace your disabled character with a beloved pet dog that needs an expensive surgery to survive then you have to throw out your manuscriptĀ
āThe Family Dogā by Deaf artist Susan Dupor, 1991
giant redwood trees really are so cool, they just have something incredibly special going on. it's hard to describe if you haven't seen them
a certain je ne sequoia, if you will
if this post has taught me anything, it's that a great number of people very proudly do not know there's a distinction between "giant redwood" and other redwoods
Me imagining Kanan and Toph meeting š¤£
i mean they have a lot to bond over!
(links // tip jar!)
@happybabysloth yeah but like who's gonna know. who's gonna know he's wearing red. definitely not these guys, he's invited <3
āIf I Am Killed For Simply Livingā ā Althea Davis
it would be funny if they just never bring the Queen out again and never acknowledge her death.
ooh all the stuff that legally but purely as a formality needs her approval or involvement could just mysteriously get it without anyone seeing anything, like snacks you leave out for Santa
new Prime Ministers having to like
come out of the palace making a sincere show of having asked for and received her approval after spending a plausible amount of time in the empty room they were escorted to
over time this rite of passage becomes seen as a meditative practice of sorts
some say they āreceived her consentā winkingly, like weāre all in on the joke, others with the bugnuts sincerity of an atheistic Church of England cleric; God is Love or whatever, and the Queenās approval is a metaphor for the conviction that youāre doing the right thing for the country. itās really your own approval you were seeking, Prime Minister
the longer it goes on, the funnier it is to pretend to foreigners that we all genuinely believe sheās still alive, and this becomes a national ābitā similar to dropbears and hunting wild haggis

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i really like old species descriptions
the species in question
my guy friend (cis guy) (has a penis) (does not menstruate) asked me (has an auditory processing disorder) (does menstruate) for a pen (writing utensil) (normal request) and i (confidently) (with no hesitation) reached into my pocket (in my jacket) (cool denim jacket) (has many pockets) (one pocket has pads in it) (menstrual pads) and gave him (cis guy) (has a penis) (does not menstruate) a pad (menstrual pad) (for people who menstruate) (which he does not need).
Reenactor throws a spear at a drone
What a time to be alive.
āThe medieval warrior, realizing the consequences of his impulsive act, immediately approached the owner of the drone and offered to pay for the damage.
The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down ādragonsā with short spears next year.
Drone owners have another year to develop a unique ādragon-likeā design for their flying machines.ā (x)
I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realizedĀ āoops maybe I shouldnāt have done thatā and tried to make it right, andĀ that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it
just so everyone knows, this has already been memorialized in a runestone
Everything about this post blesses those involved with a +4 on their next Today is Good Day roll
a rough translation of inscription on the runestone:
On the seventh day of May in the year of 2016 on hither spot the mighty warrior Ulf hath slain a dragon with his spear.
so yeah, happy birthday to this dragon-slaying event and to it only
Happy Ulf Hath Slain A Dragon With His Spear!
I think that Xena, for all of its ridiculousness and cheesiness, did a better job of conveying the allure of evil than just about any other series I've ever seen. Like it understands that violence, no matter how justifiably it starts out, is addictive, and that hatred poisons you until you can't feel real joy anymore, and it's strange to me that I've never seen it laid out so simply elsewhere.
...so THAT'S what sleeper cell activation feels like. Because yes, YES, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS, because Xena is such an interesting lightning-in-a-bottle-case study! While I would never discount the work done by the writers, Xena as a show is almost perfectly positioned both historically and structurally to consistently explore that theme.
The first puzzle piece is that Xena was a syndicated show at the tail end of syndication's total dominance of a distribution model. For those too young to remember a time when ongoing plots and prestige dramas weren't the norm, syndication is big part of why older television shows almost entirely kept plots contained to one or two episodes rather than having them span seasons. See, when a show is syndicated, it is licensed out to individual television stations/affiliates to be aired as reruns. The individual station chooses when to air them and in what order, and whether to just skip episodes they don't like in favor of the ones most likely to draw eyeballs, etc etc. The more a show is licensed, the more money you make on it, so there is an incentive to make each episode standalone to make them appealing to each station by enabling them to toss on whatever episodes they like without it being a problem for the casual viewer. Also, before streaming, easy access to dvds and episode recording, and the like, a show could not assume that even its fans would have necessarily have seen every episode. "Catching up" was not an easy thing, and reserved for the most dedicated, doing shit like physically mailing bootleg tapes! Therefore, shows needed to have a consistent formula that didn't lock out the person who couldn't watch last week for whatever reason. Characters remained within more of a status quo. Xena is a "monster of the week" style show, like X-Files. I mention X-Files intentionally, because it was one of the first to really break that no-ongoing-plots structure, and that shift affected its contemporaries, like Xena, who also started to follow suit.
That alone doesn't account for Xena being so primed to explore those themes, of course. Even staying within the same fictional universe, Hercules (which Xena is a spin-off of) and Young Hercules don't even come close to Xena's complexity on the subject. But that's because Xena's premise is perfectly positioned to interact with those practical constraints for this outcome in a way those shows aren't. The status quo that syndication demands remain mostly in intact is that 1) Xena was evil and really good at it, 2) she is trying to do good in the world now as penance but can never undo what she has done. Every episode is about Xena trying to save people while dealing with the consequences of her actions as a warlord. The fact that she was evil cannot be changed or diluted nor can the fact that she must continue trying to redeem herself, otherwise the show is over or is unrecognizable to the casual viewer. But this is also an action show, sometimes cartoonishly so, so she must also be fighting consistently! The core spectacle is violence and the core story is why violence is often evil. There is an inherent tension there that the writers either needed to interrogate earnestly or ignore, and they chose the honest, interesting route. They gave Xena a costar who is innocent and principled but loves Xena, and had her always asking why and trying to understand how Xena could be that person, while being put under similar pressures herself. They had Xena continue to use the tools she has, including violence, for good ends, and wrestled with the answers as to why that was ok, why the violence she did then and the violence she did now were differentāand sometimes decided they weren't. They showed Xena struggling with falling back into those old habits because they are seductive and easy.
If someone asked "are there so many episodes of Xena where you find out someone tried to get her to change her ways many years ago and failed because that is a really great standalone premise, or because violence as a tool and power and vengeance as motivators are corruptive and hard to stop using once you start," the answer is yes. The show is cyclical because violence is. But also because it is syndicated.
It's fucking rad and interesting.

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Iām going to level with you. I have listened to The Devil Went Down to Georgia for most of my life. We were a country music household, this was a staple of my childhood along with Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, and that one Chipmunks country album.
I have no idea what āFire on the mountain run boys run/The Devil's in the house of the rising sun/Chicken in the bread pan picking out dough/Granny does your dog bite no child noā means and at this point Iām too scared to ask.
For once I can be of assistance.
Each of the lyrics comes from an old-time hickory song for fiddles, and is a lyric from that corresponding song.
"Fire on the Mountain" --> "Fire on the Mountain, run boys run"
Fire On The Mountain - Fiddle Player POV
"The House of the Rising Sun" --> "The Devil's in the house of the rising sun"
House of the Rising Sun
"Ida Red" --> "Chicken in the bread pan peckin' out dough"
Ida Red - Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys
"Granny Will Your Dog Bite" --> "Granny does your dog bite? 'No child, no'."
FTC #149 Granny Will Your Dog Bite
And for your furthered education, The Mountain Whipporwill.
Mountain Whippoorwill (aka How Hillbilly Jim Won the Great Fiddler's Prize)
this is the key part of the song, that a lot of people miss. people have this misconception that the contest between Johnny and The Devil is about who is the better fiddle player. but it isn't. its about who is the better fiddler.
in a time before things like radios and record players, every time you heard music was because there was somebody in the room with you playing an instrument. and many, many, many social events involved dancing, which requires music. so, if you're planning any kind of gathering in the american south or appalachia, you need to find a fiddler. and the fiddler's job is to play music that everybody knows and likes and can dance to.
the mistake The Devil makes in his bet with Johnny is that he misinterprets the contest as being about technical ability, so he has this big flashy song. he plays fast and impressively with a band of demons playing unfamiliar instruments in unfamiliar rhythms. he's definitely more skilled at playing than Johnny, and thinks he has it in the bag.
but Johnny wins because the contest is about being the best fiddler. the song uses these lines mentioned above as a shorthand for saying that Johnny is playing these songs. Johnny launches into a set of the most popular songs, played well, and that's what gives him his big win. A good fiddler knows all the hits, and can read the room to know what to play next. The Devil loses because he completely fails to read the room, and doesn't know the right songs.