Hello!!

STOP!!! telling me to change my lifestyle ive had ENOUGH!!!! of people teling me to "drop it" or asking "whats in your mouth". I VE GOT THANGS TO DO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!1!1!!!!!!

Sometimes a guy in a fanfiction has the ability to read someone's gaze with the same level of detail a wine taster can taste the wine

"He glared at him with anger in his eyes, but behind that longing and sorrow over things left unsaid, a subtle but desperate yearning for things to be different, and with just a hint of roasted nuts right at the end."

we've all heard about the male gaze in media, but we've yet to explore the equally important sommelier gaze

the only fun addition to this post

you can watch the literal dumbest movie ever made and be like wow that was the literal dumbest movie ever made and I felt nothing and then in the middle of the night your animal brain can still be like what if a clown had got in my house

going on HRT is a serious decision you should make with the utmost gravity. people might think you're cool, badass even. You might find yourself happy with your life, approaching the world with newfound wisdom one way or another. It might be what you want. It might get you off. It might just be a cool story to tell people. I, myself, found the initial experience was like I had sleepwalked through a nightmare for a quarter century - and for the first time, not just the first time I could remember but actually the first time, I was awake, and the sun was shining, and the world was beautiful. So obviously all of those are risks

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

it probably feels good as hell to sexually climax from genital stimulation

I think a pet deposit is stupid but at least its a stupid I can understand you know. like sure a pet could cause more damage so extra "in case of damage" money is owed. whatever. at least I have a chance of getting it back. but pet rent is bonkers crazy. like no the amount of rent thats due is what the rent is. my cat isn't like raising property tax. normal rent isn't even calculated by number of people living in the house. you can't raise the rent when an extra person moves in. what. "pet rent". what the hell are you talking about. you sound insane. its a bunny rabbit

I think a pet deposit is stupid but at least its a stupid I can understand you know. like sure a pet could cause more damage so extra "in case of damage" money is owed. whatever. at least I have a chance of getting it back. but pet rent is bonkers crazy. like no the amount of rent thats due is what the rent is. my cat isn't like raising property tax. normal rent isn't even calculated by number of people living in the house. you can't raise the rent when an extra person moves in. what. "pet rent". what the hell are you talking about. you sound insane. its a bunny rabbit

I think a pet deposit is stupid but at least its a stupid I can understand you know. like sure a pet could cause more damage so extra "in case of damage" money is owed. whatever. at least I have a chance of getting it back. but pet rent is bonkers crazy. like no the amount of rent thats due is what the rent is. my cat isn't like raising property tax. normal rent isn't even calculated by number of people living in the house. you can't raise the rent when an extra person moves in. what. "pet rent". what the hell are you talking about. you sound insane. its a bunny rabbit

And then get REAL good at obfuscating that you're doing this by learning how to Rationalise at a master level!!

Soon it will become muscle memory and you won’t even have to think about doing it, and will become convinced this is just your default state of being! 😃

AND that you actually AREN'T blaming yourself or hating yourself, because you have learned to phrase it as being about how you know other people/the world perceive you (bonus if you make it "people in my specific cross-section of demographics"!), whether that's accurate or not "it doesn't matter, that's just what people think and how I will be treated". Even therapists will not detect it after you get this good at it, because you'll have successfully turned the statement into one about your experiences as a minority that is so rare therapists YOU can access are never part of it, so they shy away from contradicting you and if they DO you can chalk it up to them being bigoted.

All the constant put-downs aren’t self-loathing, no no no, you’re just SO practical and realistic! You’ve got your expectations on LOCK they’re so reasonable, this way you can never be disappointed about anything ever and if you are, hey, more things to totally legitimately blame yourself for. Because you really should’ve known better. You’re SO self-aware.