i'm the way that they made me!

as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”

small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.

before you reblog that seemingly innocuous transgender positivity or discourse post, here's some important things to look out for:

1. does this post uplift one marginalized group at the expense of another? specific positivity posts are great, like "protect black trans women" or "lets support intersex folks", but be sure that the post in question doesnt put down another group. examples: "trans women get all the love, so lets have some support for trans men for once" or "trans women are so strong for what they go through, trans men could never understand the struggle and dont experience even half of what trans women are put through" 🚨🚨DONT REBLOG IT!🚨🚨 find another post that doesnt have to put down another marginalized group or pit us against each other. remember, as a cis ally, its not your place to decide who does or doesnt deserve support, or to pick sides when misguided trans folks decide to play oppression olympics.

2. listen for dogwhistles! what seems like a harmless feminist post venting about cishet men can have hateful intentions towards marginalized people. terfs will often misgender trans women when they complain about them so it looks like theyre talking about predatory men, but theyre really meaning trans women. radfems/baeddels frequently omit the "trans" aspect of trans men to hide their anti-transmasculinity. if you have doubts, go to the OPs blog and search terms like "TIM" "TIF" "TRA" "TMRA" "radfem" "terf" "radical feminism" "theyfab" etc. you can also just search trans men/transmasc/trans woman/transfem and if you see anything negative, block and move along!

3. does the post operate under the binary for no good reason? does OP seem to forget that nonbinary and/or intersex people exist? does it use agab language when it seems to only be talking about trans men/women or cis men/women? does it use gendered euphemisms instead of specific and plain language, example: talking about periods and saying "women" "afab people" "females" instead of "people who menstruate". while it seems harmless, these small language quirks really build up in the psyche of trans folks and reminds us that people often are not willing to accommodate us. if your goal as an ally is to make us feel welcome and safe, being as direct and plain with your language is a good start

4. lastly, read the notes! watch out for "us vs them" language or advocating violence. even a common, unserious sentiment like "kill all men" that carries little weight in the cis world is a lot heavier in the trans community; cis men are rarely killed but trans men are murdered at high rates. watch out for malgendering, which is someone holding a trans persons gender identity against them, like "trans men really ARE men 🙄" or calling trans women hysterical bitches. remember that no demographic of trans person is "coddled" or supported by the status quo, we all live in a world that is increasingly hostile to us. if people agreeing with the post in question have this level of vitriol against other trans people, chances are its not actually a very friendly and positive post. again, as a cis ally, its not your place to involve yourself in community infighting.

Gaster IS a Pirate.

Original video by drit__ on Twitter