a cowboy like me

quitting my job to become a lake monster

victor hugo was out of paris when his beloved novel les misérables was first published, so he telegraphed his publisher “?” to inquire about the book’s reception, to which his publisher promptly responded, “i still think you should have made inspector javert an elf girl”

I also think that all the "um okay knives out & glass onion were good. Wrap it up now" posts are so funny. You're tripping if you think there's not going to be at least five Benoit Blanc films lol

What part of "the detective franchise is back babey" did you not get. There were 14 Poirot films and that's not counting the show which was a standard season for most of its run. 69 Columbo episodes. Like it or hate it you are going to be seeing Benoit Blanc until the day he stops making money and then some.

He hasn't even been on a train yet for fucks sake

HE HASN'T EVEN BEEN ON A TRAIN YET!!!!

it’s 2014 can taylor swift stop

"i look forward to hearing back" implies a beautiful world that runs on sense-direction combinations. i smell sideways to tasting up. i palpate inwards to listening diagonal, so that i can hunger clockwise

we are never going to be free until it literally doesnt matter whether a person is ugly or not