Shane Hollander Enjoyer

i hope i get to keep reblogging the same heated rivalry scenes over and over with you guys until we die

shane and ilya in their 70s would absolutely terrorize the local water aerobics class with their competitiveness

Crucially #myshane plays to his twentieth season which is just long enough to have the experience of meeting Ottawa's new draft prospect, also named Shane, and to smile and jokingly say, "Hey nice name," and for the rookie to gulp and say, "Thank you sir I am named after you" and that makes Shane sit in his stall and stare at the floor between his skates for. Significantly too long to be healthy.

additionally after retirement he watches hockey as usual and there’s a match that has like 3 shanes on both teams and one of the commentators remarked at how many shanes there are and his colleague just stares at him like “why the fuck do you think?” and ilya cackles next to him because there are at least 5 shanes that had cycled through the ottawa roster since their 20th season and a few other in montreal and the atlantic division overall

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

i need him to help me move. i want him to move my dresser. i want him to load my mattress into the back of a truck. big ass box on one shoulder barely breaking a sweat.

they need to invent the opposite of an nda called an fda where u have to tell everyone everything

subpoena

tumblr

alcohol

war thunder forums

he’s huge and we’ll get to see connor toss him around like he’s nothing. Never kill yourself

born to be a pool boy in the suburbs, forced to be an actor simulating frotting with his bestie

*cums* ok finally got that out of the way *wields a cruel blade violently*

guys, if i do kill myself and never published any books or anything please copy all my best tumblr posts and arrange them into a deeply moving stream of consciousness narrative and submit it to the new yorker on my behalf. i feel like i can count on you. don't let my life and posting have been in vain