momotarou

one thing you need to know about 2014. is that what does the fox say was playing pretty much everywhere you went. and everybody was just relieved it wasn't blurred lines

I canot stress enough that those were the only 2 songs in 2014

hey girl are you gold and mercury. because. AuHg

hey girl are you nickel cerium cobalt carbon potassium silicon sulfur because NiCe CoCK SiS

In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

I have the vision to appreciate Speef

none prologue with left speef

noteworthy that they literally had a mask on me hooked up to a tank pumping narcotics into my lungs through all this, and my body temperature was like 34°. I would have been doing well to just have both eyes pointed in the same direction

Yikes! What happened to you???

slipped

i just woke up from a dream where i was being interrogated by a bunch of people asking me if “furbies are kosher” firstly…. im not jewish. secondly……..what the fuck

please stop sending me asks pertaining to the kosher status of furbies. i really do not know. this was just a manifestation of my subconscious. im assuming that they are not kosher because furbies aren’t even food. but who knows! ask a rabbi, if you must. 

Jew here! Furbies are actually worse than unkosher–they are not permissible as food, even for gentiles. This is because the Torah teaches that it is forbidden for any human to eat the meat of an animal that is still alive, and the Furby cannot die.

hi this is the most ominous description of a furby i have ever heard

sitting anti-kink posters down in front of a wrestling match and explaining kayfabe to them with the patience of a preschool teacher

You see that one? He's called the "heel." He looks mean and says a lot of scary things, but it's not real and he's actually very nice. When he says "I'm going to break you in half" you don't have to be scared because it's pretend. These two talked about this beforehand, and now they're playing pretend together. Can you think of any other situations that might be like this?

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: #crying and throwing up when you tell me the undertaker didnt Really die and come back to life all those times /End ID]

The 11th emoji in your history is now your cutie mark 👁️

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one thing I will say about the yaoi in taskmaster is that it's crazy how there's a profound height and age gap but the shorter, younger one is both 6'2 and 47 years old. that's fantastic. taking notes