STARSHINE

i hate a recipe for a dish with "marry me" in the name. fuck off. gives tradwife energy i will not elaborate

making a recipe called "divorce me no prenup" the way you're gonna want at least half

every day it gets harder to have a relaxed jaw and decent posture

the phrases "holy shit two cakes," "fuck it we ball," and "perfect is the enemy of good" bounce around in my cavernous skull like ping pong pachinko. occasionally one of them will land on a big red button labeled "write" and that is when 1000 words emerge from me and splooge all over my document

briefly taking my phone out at work and looking at images of my favourite character like im a soldier in the trenches looking at a picture of their loved one back home

you need to do a little dance in the kitchen. it is vitally important for your health that you do a little dance in the kitchen. you understand

I was cleaning the kitchen and noticed my roommate left part of an onion on the counter after cooking and for some stupid fucking reason instead of asking about it like a normal person I went to them holding the onion in my hand as if it were an injured bird and asked “what do you desire of his fate”

i dont know much about how phalloplasty works but i have to imagine that it involves a pottery wheel and spinning you really fast and fingering you until your clit becomes a magnificent ceramic vase

I think the ideal mutual is someone with some solid common ground but who also has a bonkers niche interest that’s totally foreign to you. It’s like a friendly educational experience

I have a disease called I can’t reply to your text. I love you

I would love to unclench my jaw one day

my cats love to urgently paw at my bedroom door and scream like they’re locked out with a horror movie slasher and then I let them in and they just want to sit on the far corner of my bed and ignore me

Shoutout to it/its pronoun users today you may take one thing from the prize box :)