STARSHINE

I would love to unclench my jaw one day

my cats love to urgently paw at my bedroom door and scream like they’re locked out with a horror movie slasher and then I let them in and they just want to sit on the far corner of my bed and ignore me

Shoutout to it/its pronoun users today you may take one thing from the prize box :)

headbutts you. headbutts you. bites you. hey. headbutts you.

forever grateful i was simply too lazy to let the makeup industrial complex get its hooks in me. I was just like im not doing all of that. in fact. im doing none of that

yeah I have political reasons for it now but my original and still most powerful reason is "I am not getting out of this bed one single second before I have to"

i really don’t have the time to be the way i am

rage bait idea: like your own texts during an argument

affirmation: I am capable of finishing the works of pornographic fanfiction I start writing

The meme version of Edward Cullen as a man who is obsessed with snails and moss is infinitely more interesting than the version of him in the actual twilight books.

If Edward Cullen was a man who was obsessed with the small intricacies of the forests of Washington state and enjoyed foraging and taking pictures of snails he would actually be the most unique and interesting vampire character in modern literature but instead he’s an overprotective bitch whose main personality trait is that he hates himself.

Bella would also be way more interesting if she was watching this guy swerve the car over to the side of the road to take a picture of some cool moss and chewing on poisonous herbs like gum because his vampirism makes him immune and going “oh I can’t not fuck him”

Where can I see that? Or is it just you hallucinating Edward's?

i’m giving up personhood to become a full-time abstract concept

Rumi is getting real tired of Zoey thirsting over her mothers and Mira is like "would you like me to fuck her mom? For revenge? I would fuck her mom for you. Please let me fuck her mom for you" and Rumi is like Mira Is There Something You Would Like to Share with the Class

Girlfriend won't stop point-and-clickmaxxing. Saying shit like "keys! I can use these!" And walking up to doors and announcing "it's locked." without touching the knob

man having your life even a little bit together will really make you realize how chronically sleep-deprived and poorly fed and under-enriched everyone is and then when they turn to you to implicitly agree that that's just the natural state of existing you feel like the asshole for being like "actually I think you might benefit from eating breakfast regularly and picking up a new hobby"

Dont unfollow me I can post about something you care even less about wait

Put me back in the water right now or ill die

Right now or ill die

Squirm for me

Unh