I am here somehow

I can’t believe I read this post with my own fucking eyes

I love it unironically, I burst out laughing. It hits the same note as “the opposite of malice is bonfire”.

Weaponized incompetence my ass just weaponize it back. Once my dad tries to pull the “but I don’t know how to clean the counters as well as you” on my mom and she said “ok honey I’ll show you” and she made him stand in the kitchen and watch her clean the counters. Then she pulled out a bottle of chocolate syrup and proceeded to spray the entire kitchen in chocolate, hand him the sponge and said “okay now it’s your turn”

You’re all a delight to have

you’re going to love again, find a job again, create art again, do what you love again, feel powerful again. you’re going to be back on track. i don’t know when, but you are going to feel like yourself again, eventually. this isn’t the end. hang in there.

You’ve heard of late stage capitalism now get ready for

Ah not again lads

The person who reblogged this from you is rooting for your success.

if you know about 2012 tumblr how do you hold any power in any conversation

well, stucky fanfic url, the trick is to not let them know that you are also cringe

this is the most poignant burn ive seen all year

everyone lost

losers gonna pick on losers forever ^-^

Tumblr has the best PvP of any social media

girl help the character i created for a joke has a detailed tragic backstory and epic lore now

Just because your house is haunted doesn't mean the ghosts are causing all the weird shit you're experiencing. Like, yes, be polite to the restless dead, but also check for carbon monoxide.

your carbon monoxide detector died and the ghosts are trying to warn you

haunted by the ghost of my carbon monoxide dectector

This is like the best admission I've ever heard that prison sentences are about fucked up torture rather than keeping dangerous people out of society.

I don’t mean to sound rude but farmers literally have to learn to love poop smell, cow poop smell, they learn to love it, they wake up and take a deep breath of their pasture and say “yeap, this here is fresh country air”

You could’ve said ANYTHING ELSE-

I’ve never been more awake

Obsessed with the idea of being a symbiont’s first host. Gaining pretty much nothing from the process because the only memories it has is of swimming around in a cave. Go worm, give us nothing.

new star trek oc: ricky dornt, 18 yr old trill host and his fresh-outta-the-soup symbiont. fresh faced, empty headed, and about to get their shared dick kicked in by the universe

This is really funny, but I think another hilarious possibility is if those worms have completely full, dramatic lives in those pools. So the first host would be telling wild stories from their past life like any other joined trill, and people would be like “Woah that’s crazy where could something like that have even happened???” And they’d be like “Oh in the worm pool.”

oh my god, I never considered worm drama.

it would be the best kind of worm drama: highschool worm drama

oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years

and shes like “yeah, its Professor A”

and we all FLIPPED. THE FUCK. OUT

we thought the framed picture of the two of them on professor A’s desk was ironic because hes that type of guy

like, you gotta undestand. these two have gotten into YELLING matches in hallways. these two refuse to go onto trips with each other. but apparently they have a system where they quite LITERALLY leave all of their work at work and drive home in seperate cars and literally NEVER mention work at home. it is SO funny

I’m honestly reblogging this hear because I would read a million books with this dynamic, I swear.

Everything is like “QUEER history” and “List of QUEER young adult books” or “Top 10 QUEER movies” and queer this and queer that and for the love of god please just say LGBT.

But queer is more inclusive

And faster to pronounce if you are talking instead of writing.

It’s called economía del lenguaje.

queer is not a slur, stop drinking the TERF koolaid

every time one of you fools spout about ‘queer is a slur’ a terf laughs because their fucking plan to make that word ‘taboo’ is fucking working you dipshit.

yeah in the 90s and early 2000s kids would call each other “gay” as an insult. But no one ties themselves in knots over whether “gay” is a slur. So yeah, please ffs learn your history.

They want you to say which kind of queer you are so they can decide whether you’re undesirable.

Reblog if you’re proud to be queer 🎉❤️🥂

Like fuck I'm gonna give people a rundown of "Oh I'm nb in a genderfluid kinda way where I feel as much gender on any given day, pansexual and demi on a sorta gray-ace scale and in a poly relationship." Just fucking no. I'm just gonna say I'm fucking queer.

international friends: here’s the deal. South African scientists have been tracking the COVID genome and keeping an eye out for mutations. Most places in the world aren’t doing so. When we announce a new variant, it’s not necessarily from South Africa, we just publicised the fact that we detected it here. And yet, because we’re a country in the Global South, it doesn’t matter that our scientists are incredible and are doing the world a service by tracking and reporting these things, because our ordinary citizens are being blacklisted because of it and being prevented from entering other countries and placed on red lists for no reason 

For those who aren’t aware, this is exactly how the Spanish Flu came to be named the Spanish Flu. It didn’t originate in Spain. Spain was just the first country to acknowledge there was a global fucking pandemic and do something about it.