Gender Theif

The loudest guy in the fucking world: hey man

There's more after 'hey man' but you're deaf now

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

can't believe Elon Musk will be the first trillionare in hell

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

interesting dates on this post

those aren’t dates, they are explicitly stated to be cranberries

I thought of a stupid satirical play about the four leaders of a Maga/Reform type party discussing what they're going to do to win the election and the only line I can think of is "People say we're too sexist, that we 'hate women' and 'would remove all their right' so what if... we kill all the women so there's no sexism" and everyone claps

but if there's no women, who are they gonna objectify and sexualize? men?

The leaders pause for a moment "that...would be gay"

some unidentifiable voice from the back of the room pipes up, “Not if it’s only the twink, weak ones!”

"WE'RE KILLING THE TWINKS WITH THE WOMEN DUMBASS!!" everyone shouts in unison

I can imagine one of them going "I just need something to take the edge off of all of this" and shakily pulls out a comedically long cigarette and takes 20 seconds smoking it in one go

"If you're still having fun in your 30s you're functionally brain damaged" sure is a take.

Don’t give up. We can beat them! The kinder they are the harder they fall.

Puki, be honest with me... Are we the baddies?

Whatever

I hate how 3 pm is so close to 2 pm so there's an illusion that there's still time left in the day to do things but in reality 3 pm is also close to 4 pm and if it's close to 4 pm you might as well just wait till tomorrow. <- can't argue against this by the way.

This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.

MY NAME, IS FRICKIN MOON MOON. I’D BE THE MOST IDIOTIC WOLF. ‘OH SHIT WHO BROUGHT FUCKING MOON MOON ALONG?’

the post that started it all

oh god

Never not reblogging.

I’ve only seen this post in screenshots

I’m very surprised this post hasn’t broken a million.

There’s a large vehicle that occasionally drives past my house that just makes noise. I honestly think it was designed to make noise and do nothing else.

So the vehicle version of you?

I am not as big

Bro is petite

I am not 4 tons

Bro is tiny.

I am just not 4 tons

I JUST REALIZED I HAVE AN ENTIRE TUBE OF PRINGLES OH MY GOD YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

something just happened to half of it

These are the most fuckable bookshelves I’ve ever seen

feels like a real step back that with all the sexual freedom available to us we moved to Hookup Culture instead of Having Sex With Friends Culture

HUH.... Society really fucked us on this one (and not in the fun kinky way ☹️)

Recycled tumblr humor

10k notes

pun

pun repeated in italics

“did you just” added

supernatural gif that fits even though the post was nowhere near related to spn

comment expressing disbelief on how Supernatural has a gif for everything

Comment expressing their uttermost love for Tumblr

comment expressing utter hate for posts like these

Comment that OMG IT’S THE ORIGINAL I’VE ONLY SEEN IT IN SCREENSHOTS

Someone saying this post is a must reblog

someone mentioning the ops are all deactivated

The @hellsite-hall-of-fame reblog

Happy 10 years to this post

Original poster deactivated 12’th of June 2014

sentence with the right number of syllables for the haiku bot worm