native proto-altaic speaker

hello/ salut!

I’m deep-down-in-drowsy-town! You can call me Wizard. I was once a Starkid blog, hence the name, but the endless cycling of hyperfixations and all that…

I’m 21 22 (forgot to change it woop) years old, she/they pronouns???, I’m mixed race, and I’ve got ADHD. Currently working towards a masters in sociolinguistics. I speak native English and C1 French, hoping to learn more languages in the future. Major research interests include minority languages, language politics, linguistic nationalism, and conlangs. Other interests/fandoms/hyperfixations include Phineas and Ferb, Pinegrove, nerdfighteria, musical theater, religious studies, conlanging/ worldbuilding, and public transit! Politics: pacifist, environmentalist, pro linguistic diversity, public libraries, ethical p*rn*, free media, and high speed rail, anti car based infrastructure, technofascism, linguicide, ai art, and bigotry (duh). I've dabbled in several religions, talk to me about hard polytheism or the moral consequences of anattā!

that’s all folks, enjoy the chaos ;)

*censored just in case, tmblr puritanism is dumb and stupid. check out the work of Erika Lust and Lina Bembe, or read Coleman and Helm et. al's book on the subject.

*this blog will discuss topics such as chronic illness, mental illness, sex/ sexuality, global politics, and discrimination. you have been warned. i welcome a diverse audience and healthy debate; on the other hand, TERFS, bigots, religious nationalists, book burners, and chasers, DNI. go take a walk, have conversations with strangers, reconsider your life choices.

so here's the thing. the autogynephilia myth has been destructive for many, many reasons. i'm gonna discuss one that i haven't seen talked about enough. it's gonna get personal; that's just how it goes.

in the near future, i wouldn't mind having a side gig as a p*rn performer. i've read enough sex-positive feminist literature to know that s*x work, erotica, etc are not inherently evil, or at least it's more complicated than we generally assume. as someone with a theater background, i love performance of all kinds; and i'm very interested in erotic film as a means of genuine creative expression. i also know that the popular perception of p*rn as inherently exploitative and unromantic is wrong: some of my favorite films are sweet, intimate, deeply romantic and very cinematic (as you can tell i'm a huge fan of Maisy Taylor and Erika Lust lol). the emerging world of indie, ethical, queer, feminist, whatever you want to call it p*rn is truly exciting, and i'd love to be a part of it.

HOWEVER, i would never want to do this as a guy, in a male body. not only am i not attracted to men at all; the idea of showing my male body on camera, or even to another person, just sort of disgusts me. i want to be a cute, sexy, hot, attractive, seductive woman, and be perceived as that by others. in other words, i'd only want to be a performer after i transition.

now, this is by no means the only thing that made me realize i'm trans. there were many, many, MANY other factors involved. the fact that i can't imagine myself in a heterosexual relationship- sexual, romantic, whatever- was a big deal. but for me, as a 22 year old allosexual person, this did matter. exploring my sexuality, my desire, in an free and unashamed way, was a big part of my gender awakening.

so to get back on topic: there's this big double standard when it comes to transfem sexuality. if we do display ANY sexual desire, then we're just fetishists who only want to be girls because we find it hot. but those same people will only appreciate trans female bodies- if they find us hot. hence the prevalence of "transfem sissy femboy" whatever p*rn on the internet- that stuff exists as much for chasers as it does for, you know, actual trans people.