get in loser we're going fate-swapping

peishui but it's my boy builds coffins by florence + the machine

i've had a letterboard in my bedroom that says 'eat your yam' for about a year now and i honestly forgot this is what it was from

one of my favorite lines from harrow the ninth is “love is a revenant” which comes from ianthe tridentarius of all people, who only TWO PAGES earlier also says “your fist is so big and my butthole is so small”

despite that Coronabeth Tridentarius is frequently called the most beautiful out of all tlt characters, it's Camilla Hect who is flirted with the most. multiple characters find her attractive, and Nona, who is literally planet earth (therefore has universal taste) called Corona almost pretty enough for Camilla, which strongly suggests that Camilla Hect is the hottest tlt character. in this essay i will-

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

awesome that you can form a bond through gay sex which neither of you are engaging in, you're just both thinking about it really hard

one day you just wake up to 30 dms from your mutual across the world and they're like imagine if these characters were trapped in bikini bottom and they had to fuck or die and you're like, yeah tell me more

i love clicking on somebody’s ao3 profile and seeing the most nonsensical collection of fandoms. like yess let's live a thousand lifetimes

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

Dump your boyfriend and master the art of sudoku instead

divorced couple energy ship will always be immaculate to me. we hate each other. we've seen each other naked. I know how you take your morning coffee. I will never make you your morning coffee again. get it yourself. here you go, I gave it to you anyway. you disgust me. I will always be somewhat in love with you. I will be yours forever. you're not mine anymore. you will always be mine. fuck you. let's fuck, for old time's sake. did you steal my cd? no, no. keep it.

Everyone's all "ohhh 2026 bring back physical media" until I start talking illuminated manuscripts and then suddenly we're not on the same page anymore

this fic is so good i hope i write it

Me, upon feeling Any Mood Ever: huh, this must be a sign to rewatch The Cottage