it’s great being alive with you!

Imagine I was calm and normal about things

just showed the gate agent the Wikipedia article for Mussels instead of my boarding pass. don't text

So scary to like a mutual's post because what if they remember they hate me and then shoot me with a gun

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

bringing a sort of "slavery is still alive and well in US prisons" vibe to the office Juneteenth post that my higher ups don't really like

From what I understand slavery was never actually abolished in the us. It is still legal and all.

the amendment that "ended" slavery specifically left permission for slave labor as punishment for convinced criminals and our inmates have been legally exploited ever since, yes

This is stupid! Were you born yesterday? (the mayfly’s big limpid eyes fill with tears as it looks at me) oh god I’m so sorry oh no oh god

a book should be $5 a little drink should be $2 and museum access should be free and all hours

Fuck jokes and comedy and smiling and laughing. I will only play toys seriously and I will only jack off with my cursed hand.

If I Was A Cloth Father They Would Never Subject Me To Witch Hunts And Purity Tests Like This

starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club

Why the fuck are you suggesting putting CHILDREN in a club?

So they can sip grey goose, maybe have a cig, and feel the rhythm? Are you the fun police?

blast my stupid baja life

Conservative beauty standards are back with a vengeance which means it's especially important to go out this summer with bellies out and bodies unshaved. Also be unapologetically disabled with mobility aids and wearable medical devices and stim toys and ear defenders and all that stuff. You need it. People need to see it. Everyone needs to be reminded that life is unquestioningly more enjoyable when you're not living inside an arbitrary set of rules created by people who are offended by all the wrong things.