Shane loves his personal space. Ilya also loves Shane's personal space.
we're not kids anymore.

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@midnight-scrum
Shane loves his personal space. Ilya also loves Shane's personal space.

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at some point people get genuinely concerned by how much Shane seems to control Ilyas social calendar, because Ilya is constantly saying "sorry Shane said no" to plans and shane has to share ss of their chat history that clearly show Shane saying "yeah ofc baby enjoy yourself" and "Ilya why the fuck are you asking me" to clear his name
a fast learner 📝
i know we love the board checks during the fuckfest montage but this check post-tuna meltdown fucking kills me. ilya is just so. look me in the eyes. do you miss me. do you regret it. am i losing you for good am i losing you for good am i losing you for good.
November 2025 -> February 2026

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My headcanon of the day is that Ilya is not used to getting calls from family members unless they need something from him. Nobody ever calls him (maybe apart from Shane) to just simply check up on him. So the first time David calls him on a random day of the week, asks him about his day, hands the phone to Yuna to do the same—Ilya is a little confused as to why these people are just randomly calling him. He even texts David after they've hung up to confirm if they needed something and have just forgotten to mention it. When David texts back "no son we just wanted to check up on you" Ilya sits and stares at that text until he feels his throat close up and there's an odd sting in his eyes.
Yuna and David asking about the timeline of their relationship would have been even funnier if, after discussing how long they've been "lovers":
Yuna: ok, so you've been "seeing" each other for 9 years... And when did you confess your real feelings and decided to be together?
Shane:
Ilya:
Yuna:
David:
Shane:
Ilya: like, today at 4am
ilya kisses shane's heart and shane reflexively kisses ilya's head and if you know anything about either of them this is incredibly devastating
(*^▽^*)

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obsessed with the narrative that shane is just inventing kink out of his own beautiful mind like obviously he knows that ilya is the one in control but he has no clue that he’s been in a dom/sub dynamic right from the start
so one day he’s talking to rose and she jokes about their sex lives becoming boring after being together for so long and shane’s like no no he does this thing where it feels like he shuts my brain off and all my limbs go numb and he completely overtakes my body and mind and afterwards he has to bring me back down to earth and she’s like ???he puts you in subspace on the reg?? and shane is like i have no idea what that means
it's important to me that ilya remains captain of the centaurs after shane joins, but i have a specific picture in my mind of shane being assistant captain and being generally harmless and super chill , so the centaurs see him as like the chill parent (something to be said about shane being content in letting someone else, specifically His Someone, have the reins and enjoying not being in charge) but then ilya has to be out for a few weeks for like health or smth so shane goes into Captain Mode and the centaurs are scared shitless by how intense he gets all of a sudden. the most intense drills of all time. the hardest plays they've ever heard of. the strictest practices on earth. and they suddenly understand why shane led the metros/voyagers to victory so many times and why ilya treats him like the boss in their relationship. and then as soon as ilya comes back he turns it off and the centaurs are like Oh Thank Fuck Because What The Hell Was That
shane and ilya may not change their names legally after they marry but i know ilya makes all their dinner and vacation reservations under hollander. i know he's ilya hollander in his heart of hearts. to him they are The Hollander Household. they send christmas cards with 'love, the hollanders'. it's real to me
#thinking thoughts about shane chirping ilya at home but calling him hollander and ilya tears up about it (via @jizzinandsplizzin)
yeah everybody pack it the fuck up and go home it's over.
god!!! i can just see them on their honeymoon postured in front of each other like they're about to wrestle, those face-off grins on each other's faces just being boys, shiny new wedding rings catching the light, and ilya going, "last chance, hollander. i won't let you win just because we're married now" and shane chirps, "oh yeah? let's see what you got, hollander"
and ilya just short circuits. because they'd agreed not to take each other's names for practical reasons but he had really, really wanted to be a hollander. to be undeniably shane's. and his eyes well up, because it doesn't even feel real.
so whether or not ilya tackles him to the rug to kiss him repeatedly, whispering "again, again" in between each one while shane breathlessly obeys as much as he can with ilya's tongue in his mouth is. not our business really but it's seared into my brain forever now thank you
HEATED RIVALRY SEASON ONE + hall of fame text posts

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i'm not crying, you're crying.
Last meal with his "family" vs first meal with his family