nothing at all

my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm

a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force

daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed

always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't

7. You can fold my daughter through any two points.

10. When two or more daughters are offered for a phenomenon, the simplest daughter is preferable.

11. Any sufficiently advanced daughter is indistinguishable from magic.

12. Without a clear indicator of intent, it is utterly impossible to parody my daughter without someone mistaking it for the genuine article.

HANDLE: eclecticConservator

TYPING QUIRK: "shortenin stuff where i can. cant be typin all day. you got somethin for me? spit it out. i got somethin for you? i'll keep it to three sentences or less."

(Preference towards shortened sentences with clipped words. They prefer brevity and function in communication over flourish and theatrics.)

LUNAR PREFERENCE: Derse Dreamer

CLASSPECT: Seer of Mind

Your name is KIPPYR WULTON. You live in a SHACK in the WOODS. You've always preferred a life of privacy, and you love all of the not worrying about being killed in your sleep that not living in a city affords you.

Another perk of your rural living choices is the absolute wealth of STUFF in the willderness. COLLECTING and APPRECIATING all of your WICKED COOL TREASURE gives you life. You tend to have a keen eye for value in what others might see as usless. Your friends often call you a KLEPTOMANIAC and a HOARDER, but you prefer to see yourself as an APPRAISER and CURATOR. This interest of yours is fueled by the fact that the woods surrounding your house are jam-packed with DUNGEONS and CRYPTS, ripe for the picking! You can't keep everything in your pockets, even if you are wearing your iconic TWO JACKETS, so you try not to leave the house without your trusty SATCHEL.

Whenever you're not plundering and indexing your many prizes and curios, you're otherwise a HABITUAL DABBLER. You absolutely love getting little tastes of everything. Yesterday you picked up beatboxing. The week before that you were learning to weld. Tomorrow, who knows! You've heard that SPEEDRUNNING is pretty fun, maybe you'll get into that. Most of the time, however, you tend to just FUCK AROUND and PHILOSOPHIZE about utter bullshit. Everything is connected somehow, and you love to TRACK PATTERNS in all things.

Kippyr's main ability is their research and development into the RPS chart, which is of course an ontologically infallibe rulebook to the warring forces of the universe (it's Rock Paper Scissors).

At the start of the story, the RPS chart is fairly small, looking something like this.

Though as their session continues it grows larger and larger, until it contains a comprehensive list if all things (physical and conceptual) in the universe, including how they connect and interact with each other.

Kippyr's strength is that they can access anything they might need in their satchel, which is eventually upgraded to act as effectively infinite hammer space.

As a Seer of Mind player, they break down problems into steps and work backwards until they have a solution. Most of their session involves progressively crazier and more bombastic reveals, like how they figured out "Two-ton steel porcupine" instantly beats "Gate 1 boss, Tr'ullia Gobmaw", or the shocking reveal that the perfect counter to "Lock carved by the ancients" was, in fact, "Napkin folded up into a paper frog and set on the ground for a week".

Studying this list is something Kippyr dedicates YEARS of their life to. Their end-game gear allows them to access different volumes of knowledge stored on external mental hard drives, as their limited mortal mind couldn't possibly understand the RPS fractal all at the same time. Also, when they need to fetch an ID number for an item on the chart, it's represented by a double-sided barcode printed out on an old timey stock ticker.

Also here's their planet.

Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.

Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.

Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.

The best part is the local city council's reaction.

After the incident, another video went viral showing what appeared to be that man getting a beating. The Maui Police Department said they had no record of any reports of disorderly conduct or assault related to the monk seal incident.

Now, at 29, I’m lowkey having a panic attack because my academic email is filled with middle schoolers wanting me to answer their questions about pygmy raccoons and I keep putting off answering them because I’m so overwhelmed with all the other raccoon stuff I have to do.