novelistparty

formal menswear enthusiasts want to slut it up so bad but they're frightened. so they wear shirt-stays and sock garters under their clothes. this is my scientific theory it's making waves in the guyologist world right now

the bit in red dwarf S2 where rimmer's female doppelganger calls him a little slut for crossing his legs and making sure she can see his sock suspenders lives in my head rent-free

and she was right. about a lot of things

drag name Butter Emails. do a pantsuit thing.

seeing a doctor who just accepts my case as fairly predictable and talks to me like I'm a regular person who happens to be dealing with some very specific medical issues. is healing. this guy had a little laminated flipbook with diagrams he used to explain the biomechanics of what they are going to be looking for when they do the ultrasounds and how those things might impact my body and what the treatments might be if they find them. he was neither condescending nor inaccessibly jargon-y. just very straightforward and matter of fact. at one point I sort of gratefully expressed how much I appreciated him discussing everything with us so thoroughly and he just looked at me blankly like he didn't understand what the alternative would be? like "but that's just my job..?" and I was like oh sir. i appreciate very much that you have that attitude about practicing medicine. but also (thousand yard stare)

Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.

at a new doctor and they're making me fill out everything on their iPad that everyone has fucking touched with their nasty hands and its mounted on a thing so you have to stand the whole time you are using it and there's no chair so I had to ask if I could drag one over and it was a whole thing like I fucking hate. doctors offices. I HATE THEM. ITS BAD IF I'M ALREADY PISSED ABOUT INACCESSIBILITY AT YOUR MEDICAL OFFICE AND I HAVEN'T EVEN TALKED TO A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL YET

elaborating on the 'most abuse is unintentional' piece. really obvious to me rn in parenting that abuse is more likely to be a result of carelessness/frustration/ignorance of consequences than intention to cause harm. it's obviously also fostered by indifference to causing harm. the really key bit is that if you allow yourself a default mode of righteous anger, of disproportionate intolerance of inconvenience, if it comes naturally to you to ignore your own mistakes while caring about those of others, it is easier to enact these things on the people you love in the context of exhaustion, frustration or inattention.