The Memessiah

my jonas brother in christ

instead of killing characters off at random for shock value, may i propose a hip new trend: keeping characters alive at random for shock value. by all logic, this character should be dead. there’s no possible explanation for how they continue to shuffle ‘round this mortal coil. maybe we literally saw them die onscreen back in the passe era of shock value deaths. and yet, there they are. alive before our eyeballs.

#bible did this with jesus

gods weakest soldier. minor events kick the shit out of me daily god hands me his lightest battles and i start sniffling and fumbling the bag

I kind of imagine that “peace be with you” is a bit of a euphemistic translation for a phrase that was more like “everyone calm the f*ck down!”

This one is gold.

Ezekiel 34 15-16 on the phone

@silver-falling-star

It’s back!!! !!

“mary did you know?” is really just some guy mansplaining to mary about her own son

wow! just found out that two white protestant men wrote that god awful song! that’s so surprising :)

If I'm ever forced to teach bible school, this is the kind of shit I'll force my students to look at

I'm teaching middle school catechism and I'm definitely putting this on the board at some point

WHY WOULD PORN BLOGS FOLLOW ME I’M LITERALLY KIN WITH A POPE

best sentence so far of 2017

going to print this out and find an elderly Lebanese woman to explain it to

Ok so everyone is deactivated but I remember seeing this posr back when the OP wasn’t and they meant they were RELATED to a pope (yknow, the original meaning of kin)

What a twist

ok this is false i was mutuals with the guy and he was definitely kin as in fictionkin with a pope it was the pope from that show the young pope or wahtever. anyways i think the reason he deactivated was it turned out he was into necrophilia

this was like 12 slaps in the face

WHY ARE AMERICANS LIKE THIS

Notice too that he didn’t even give Elijah some encouraging words to comfort him.  He just told him to eat.  Sometimes just being there and making sure someone gets through their anguish is enough.

Thank you kind stranger this is the exact gif I was looking for.

Keep in mind, that all this happened right after Elijah killed 300 prophets of Ba'al. Like he witnessed the power of God and then started freaking out when he found out Jezebel wanted to kill him… You know, the woman he confronted time and time again who couldn’t do crap to him in the first place no matter how hard she tried. This is also the same guy who ran faster than a chariot while going down the mountain. Still he is only human and one can’t fault him for finally freaking out.

We've all been Elijah at some point, right?