codi or atlas

hey, im publishing my first poetry book on the 30th of june!! ill post links when it drops but im just so EXCITED!!!

today i rang up a customer at work for $13.36 and i said with such genuine cheer "uh-oh! two years before the plague hit England, if anyone cares!" and i watched the customer's eyes as they were clearly taken aback and then tried to pretend to be interested at all. they made such a valiant effort. they were like I don't wanna damper this guy's plague enthusiasm. They said, very awkwardly, "haha, uh-oh!"

being turned on by proficiency makes going to concerts really embarrassing. yes you got up in front of me and sang a beautiful song for 2 hours and now i want you to hit. I’m no better than a songbird

i got spanish anon hate for this one btw

t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it

every year is the year of fat women with glasses

HELLO ! have you thought about Van Gogh’s First Steps today ?

maybe next year instead of amateur fireworks on every block for hours and hours we can try holding up a single beautiful flower

ladies and gentlemen of the jury, today i would like to present a bold, feminist reimagining of the evidence you've seen presented against my client

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard