a mysterious noodle incident

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

supid

supid.

“but he did [this horrific thing]” i am neither his keeper nor happy with every single decision he makes. Also he is not real

penis isn't real. pussy isn't even real. the only thing that is real, is the pleasure of combat

whats everyones favorite cocktails. i totally adore a sex on the beach. no rum and coke okay i want your favorite gay ass colorful fruity tasting type of drink okay? okay. i trust you. i love you

honestly if i were to summarize varric and leliana's storytelling it would be for varric "if i tell it better, this time, this time it will end like i need it to" and for leliana "there is no changing the ending, but maybe, just maybe, changing how we get there will make it hurt less" and neither of them are coping about it

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture

sex position: you, sitting on your throne. me, standing behind you, resting my arm on the back of your throne and sniling so sneetly at your ministers like i have any right to be there