Mellie Eggo's Space for Fools

the cens communications team made a funny video with ilya where he kisses his teammates on the cheek to see their reactions. the first one was bood who just laughed and hugged him. the second was wyatt who kissed him back. the third was troy who dodged every attempt like “get off me man”. the fourth were the rookies (not rookies anymore) luca, lapointe, young, and holmberg who all took it lightly and beamed, except luca who got beet red. ilya went and did that with every cens player, most of them just accepted it, others joked back, some kissed him back, one or two dodged, but overall they took the ilya’s attempts well. the last one was shane, ilya kissed all over his face and shane just melted into his husband’s kiss and kissed him back. obviously that was one of the most watched videos on the cens official account.

Hollanov loOOoVe kissing oh my god they love it soso muchhhh. Now that they're actually together and they have this incredibly valuable resource called time, they just spend hours and hours making out, long lazy stretches of time where they're just exchanging indulgent kisses back and forth. It's insane. They emerge from their little necking love nest with their hair all fucked up, lips swollen and spit-shiny, mouths BRIGHT red almost bruised, all dreamy and dazed. I think they could both get off just from kissing, I really do

ilya and shane are sitting side by side in the booth, being ridiculously affectionate like they always are, putting their foreheads together, rubbing noses, gently rubbing their faces against each other, giving each other a million little pecks all over. ilya’s arm draped across shane’s shoulders while he whispers sweet nothings in his ear and shane just giggles and looks back at him with the biggest heart eyes and ilya says smiling “i love you so much” and shane starts to say “i love—“ but gets cut off by someone clearing their throat and both of them look forward to find their friends sitting right in front of them and troy just groans “you guys are so annoying” and dykstra goes “i don’t know how they make me, a married guy, feel single” and wyatt says “i think they’re cute” and troy rolls his eyes and goes “of course you do” and then troy says looking between ilya and shane “you guys cannot refrain of touch each other for half an hour so you can hang with your friends?” and ilya just grins and goes “sorry guys, it’s just sometimes when two grown people love each other very much—“ and they all groan again and troy snarks “fuck off” and ilya, already having way too much fun keeps going “it’s just that when i’m with shane sometimes people around us just disappear and i can only see him” and he leans in to kiss shane’s face while shane flushed at the confession but doesn’t stop smiling at his husband and their friends just sigh loudly rolling their eyes and troy says “they’re insufferable” and dykstra goes “i bet if we leave those two right now they won’t even notice” and troy nods and they both get up and leave the booth and wyatt stays and shane and ilya stop for a second to look at him and wyatt goes “i think you guys are cute and if bood had come he would agree with me” and ilya goes “thank you hazy” and winks at him before going right back to kissing his husband, who is redder than a tomato but not putting a stop to anything ilya is doing and they’re just left alone in the diner, completely in their own world

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

Tuna melt au where Shane starts freaking out and so to distract him Ilya is like "I got the marble imported from Turkey, custom cut by a local contractor here in Boston" and Shane wants to have a freak out but he's always wondered about the quality of marble from Turkey, he got his counters from Italy and China but he saw options from Turkey and Brazil and wondered. He really should go, but now he's wondering if Ilya will answer his other questions like who was the architect that built this house and where did ilya find that tile that's in his guest bathroom. Basically Ilya using Shane's real estate fetish to keep him from running out during the tuna meltdown.

idk why shane gets annoyed with his mom laying out a 30 step plan to have his coming out sponsored by nike and rolex as if shane didnt wake ilya up with a powerpoint presentation on how to soft launch their relationship via a nonprofit

shane lowk the type to clap back at interviewers "what's it like being married to the most notorious chirper in the mhl" "better than you could ever imagine, my husband is the second best hockey player in the league and he's got a solid 9 next question"

it’s very sad but very dear to me that while ilya in the long game is very depressed and has absolutely zero self esteem and thinks of himself as the worst captain ever, in role model that is just demonstrably untrue. like. troy’s internal monologue about him is just how it’s crazy that he’s on the same team as him and that he’s so good at everything. harris is so happily confused about his antics. luca haas hero worships him. the rest of the team is obviously just incredibly fond of him. every time we catch a glimpse of him he’s being great with kids and dogs or is supporting his friends in some way. his speech and resolve is the entire motivation behind the centaurs making it to the playoffs. like! ilya rozanov i fear you will never know how loved you are