The Following is a Random Blog

My computer offered me a “remove background from photo” feature that would take MORE clicks to complete accurately than me simply doing it myself in traditional image-editing software.

Happy Pride Month to everyone who gets this joke, laughed at it, or isn’t a homophobic or transphobic etc asshole.

Happy Pride Everyone.

If you have a three-pin travel adaptor but you’re staying somewhere without matching outlets, it would be very irritating. As a result, travel adaptors sold for Canada, the USA and Mexico convert the origin country’s adaptor to two-pin, because at least it will fit both types of sockets.

okay so here’s the Snakebite First Aid 101 that every Australian child is taught like ten billion times. If you get bitten by a snake:

- Try to get a look at the snake. Remember what it looks like. This will help emergency services get you the correct antidote as quickly as possible.

- Remain as calm as you possibly can. The faster your heart is beating, the less time you have.

- If the bite is on an arm/hand or leg/foot, bandage the area. This should be done IMMEDIATELY. Bandage it firmly, the same way that you would for a sprain. You are attempting to minimise bloodflow out of the bitten tissue. If you are not alone, it’s best to have somebody else do the bandaging. (A tourniquet is unnecessary in anything but the most dire circumstances. All this will do is lose you a limb for no reason.)

- If it is safe to do so, sit down immediately and keep the snakebite below your heart (opposite as for a sprain; you want the bite lower, not higher.) You can rest your back on a tree or something but it’s best not to lie down. This is to keep your heart rate and blood pressure as low as possible and make it as unlikely as possible that the venom will be pumped around your body.

- Call emergency services.

- If you don’t have a signal, send somebody else to find one and call emergency services. DO NOT go walking off to do this yourself if somebody else is available to do it. You want to do as little moving around as possible.

- If you are completely alone and have no access to emergency services, you are going to have to make the best decision you can and take a risk. If you can alert others without moving, this is ideal, but you may have to get up and move. If you’re in a snakeridden area, it’s best to never go alone or make sure you have a radio or phone (and signal), in addition to wearing snakeproof clothing. That way you can avoid this scenario. Being alone and unable to call for help with a snakebite is the worst case scenario, but it’s NOT a death sentence – bandage the bite, exert as little physical effort as possible, and if you have access to a vehicle, get to it as directly as you can to minimise walking.

Mature is ‘and then they made love.’ Explicit is ‘and here’s how they did it exactly.’

To wit: mature.

He looked at the envelope, spread out before him.

God, he’d never been this hungry.

Could he be gentle enough? Slow enough? He didn’t want to damage it, didn’t want to do anything he’d regret… but no, no, it seemed the envelope wanted this as much as he did. It slipped into his hands, it folded as he asked. When it was time for more, the card was waiting, and he somehow knew exactly what to do. He moved with his correspondence in a dance as old as the mail system, and when it was over, he was smiling and the envelope was completely, thoroughly sealed.

Explicit:

The envelope waved its flap in the air slowly, gently, and he could see the faint shimmer of the adhesive traced along its fold. It was like a taunt, a dare: won’t you? And he would, oh, God, he would, lifting the envelope firmly to his lips, licking slowly at first, then faster, more firmly, tasting the envelope’s essence, the faint bitterness, the sweetness to follow–

Oh, he couldn’t help but smile at how it felt in his hands. It was so perfectly folded. Its paper was rough against his fingers, and its crossed folds shifted slightly as it opened for his eager tongue. Yes, yes…

Now the card, and his hand trembled as he lifted it, as he held the envelope, stretching it wide. Would it fit? Oh… oh, yes, it would fit, it slid in smooth and quick and filled the envelope to bursting, oh, made for each other, and he smiled in delight at how perfect it was.

He was ready. Now, now, now: with one swift movement he folded the flap over and he pressed, yes, he pressed the flap down and it stuck, God, it stuck perfectly, and he closed his eyes in bliss.