my soul is an island my car is a ford

a lot of bad bitches are following me... thank u for ur service

I'm not gonna lie the secret to success for a great many people is absolutely stimulant abuse

the author's barely disguised longing for a kinder world

My heart is lighter than a feather and my liver is darker than a black coffee because that's what it's marinating in

relationships and jobs are temporary. your shitty unpopular tumblr blog is forever

my 37 year old vampire girlfriend keeps telling me i simply don't understand the woes of immortality as if I didn't also own a VHS player or visit a blockbuster a few times as a kid

she keeps staring off into the distance saying those shit like "those as youthful as you know not what horrors lie in your past" even though we both know damn well she's talking about the 2008 financial crash

starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see