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tiktoks-we-like

#me: okay that's funny i guess #*they start running* me: *screams*

autisticexpression

Follow me on Instagram at connor_lachmanec_art

vickytokio

This is the sweetest, best, funniest thing ever! I love it so hard!

harboretum

New Campaign… New Boy

harboretum

You’ll be pleased to know that we’re doing this campaign with the Theros sourcebook which is inspired by ancient Greece and its mythology, so that’s absolutely how it’s pronounced!

dankmemeuniversity

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sgrumby

impostors should be able to read ghost chat. imagine how much more fun it'd be to go "who killed my friend? ):" and see them shouting at you from beyond the grave

visit-me-here-in-wonderland

they should also be able to see the ghosts

I already enjoy haunting imposters that kill me but could you imagine being chased around the ship by angry souls who can do nothing more that slightly inconvenience you and shout at you

space-breeze

hamlet

nonasuch

batman: what’s the situation?

commissioner gordon: Harley and Ivy have hijacked an AM radio station and taken the employees hostage

batman: what are their demands?

commissioner gordon: they haven’t issued any. they, uh.

batman:

[commisioner gordon turns on the radio]

harley: —you gotta walk away, sweetie. His family sounds completely toxic, if not outright emotionally abusive, and he’s too enmeshed to see it.

caller: no, you’re right. you’re right. I gotta do it.

harley: you got this, honey. now, stay on the line a minute, I’m writing down some the names of some books for you and you can get those from Ivy after we’re done. okay! our next caller —

[commisioner gordon turns off the radio]

batman: what station is this?

commisioner gordon: WGTM.

batman: the one that rebroadcasts rush limbaugh?

commissioner gordon:

batman:

commisioner gordon: you know what, i probably didn’t need to call you for this.

tygermama

I WOULD PAY MONEY FOR RADIO SHRINK HARLEY OKAY? I WOULD CALL RADIO SHRINK HARLEY OKAY?

thequantumqueer

“alright, babe, one more reminder that my license was revoked which means i have to tell you this as your friend and not as a mental health professional: you have two options here. one of them is safe, legal, and healthy, and will have lasting long term benefits. the other one is fun.”

nonasuch

reblogging for this extremely accurate addition.

powersandplanetaries

Ivy’s segment is where people call in to ask why their succulent is dying and she yells at them for watering it too much.

nonasuch

oh, VERY good

empressofthelibrary

A few weeks in Selina gets dragged into it, and starts offering advice on caring for cats with special dietary needs and stuff. It inevitably turns into Jackson-Galaxy-esque explinations.

"My cat keeps attacking my feet."

"How often do you play with him?"

"Not as much as I should, but he has a basket of toys right there where he can reach it."

"He wants to play with you. Grab a teaser toy or a laser pointer and go nuts. He'll wear himself out in about fifteen minutes and you can go back to work."

nonasuch

great, now i actively want someone to start a podcast that’s just in-character episodes of batman villain radio shows

velinxi

[among us] blue crewmate and his red imposter friend that stalks him to protect him from other imposter, part 5

The end

[Part 1-2] [part 3] [part 4]

gifak-net

Wisconsin White Deer Surprised by his own Antlers Shedding

tamagotchivevo

aw hell no

unseeliequeen-deactivated201904

Deer, although graceful and lovely, are fucking morons.

nebula-cnidaria

Who among us isn’t surprised when a part of our head flies off

gummygomamon

As a southerner raised by rednecks, I can confirm that deer are adorable morons.

I’ve seen deer:

1.) Run from their own baby after it sneezed

2.) Run from a turkey that was chasing another turkey

3.) Run into the only tree in the middle of a field

4.) Run from ITSELF after IT sneezed

5.) Run circles around my house because a Mockingbird was imitating the wheezing sound deer use to verbally communicate a sense of unease

theparadoxmachine

As a side note, as a Texan I can confirm that mockingbirds are total trolls who will also mimic thr sounds of babies crying and phones ringing so deer are definitely not the only ones getting freaked out by them

vrabia

baby-goalie-skaps

The reminds me of when I saw the remains of an ancient synagogue in Israel and the mosaic on the floor had a section dedicated to those who donated money to the synagogue 2000 years ago. Humans don’t change as much as we think.

wuackamole

Shout out to our patreon supporters

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popepauljohn

fuckyeahasexual

Hello you need to see this drag performer talking about quantum physics, queer existence, and non-binary identities.

enbees-and-aros

[Video Description: A drag queen — who is credited as Amrou Al-Kadhi / Glamrou, a drag performer, writer, and filmmaker — stands in front of a microphone and explains,

“Quantum physics is this incredible sect of of physics, which basically…

With like, Newtonian physics — I think of it as heteronormative physics — where its basically ‘What are the fixed universal principles that govern the world? If I do A, will B happen? What are the formulas that’ll tell us anywhere in the universe, “What will happen if I input this?”’

Quantum physics is equally a “real” sect of physics that basically looks at subatomic particles — so the very smallest things in our universe, not the macro things — and they contradict basically everything that Newtonian physics shows us. So, the most famous experiment is the Double Slit Experiment, where you fire an electron and it should go through the left or right hole. And then every now and then, it goes through both at the same time. And we don’t really know why. And sometimes, the same subatomic particle is in different locations at the same times.

And quantum physics shows that actually reality itself is basically a majority approximation of what’s happening sub-atomically. So when people spew the biological essentialism argument on me. Like, particles themselves are non-binary, and do things that contradict each other all the time, we just can’t see them all the time. And that gives me a lot of comfort, that if subatomic particles defy constructs all the time, why should we believe in fixed constructs of gender, or any kind of reality?” END DESCRIPTION]

naamahdarling

“Newtonian physics is heteronormative” is not the take I expected to see on my dash today, but it is 100% inspirational.

inky-dumbass

i needed this

whitepeopletwitter

supermodelcats

One Handsome Turkish Angora Boi

uuchiha

swan2swan

I can’t believe a humble security guard saved our planet from the aliens.

thatgalpal

this is a fever dream right

aaronexplainsitall

He fucking DEATH DROPPED

viterbofangirl

(found on Imgur)

bariumsulfateacetone

Correct me if I’m wrong, but it looks to me like this is a puppet and there is a person inside the cloak? Very creative and skilful work!

rekkingcrew

WOW

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programmerhumour

I Excel at Word(s)

toshsato

Rose! Get out of the way now!

mcshortandnerdy

But the fact that Rose knew this would work, *that’s* why I’ll always love 9 the most. Think of any other Doctor in this scene. Would you feel the same level of hurt right away that you get from 9 realizing he’s made this mistake *offscreen* no less?

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