Grey’s Anatomy

Took me a month, but my Garbage Pride designs are done! Plus a couple variants - Queer Garbage for those who'd like a more general term for the Gilbert Baker flag, and a different Gay Garbage design using the MLM pride flag for gay and bi men who would like something more specific.

The term "garbage" is meant affectionately here. I don't think any identities represented here are garbage, rather these are meant for LGBT folks who reclaim all things messy and gross.

OH MY GOD!🤩

And as you all know I Am currently taking a geology class, so I am probably more emotionally invested in minerals than usual. But that is...very obviously not a natural crystal.

So I did some looking around on Etsy.

Now, these shops all seem to advertise to the “witchy”/“spiritual healing” type of person. And there are a lot of them. Crystals are a Big Thing on Etsy. And ALMOST ALL of them are obviously artificially cut into the same sort of prism with a triangular pyramid top, regardless of the actual sort of crystal it is supposed to be.

Even like, fucking, obsidian. Obsidian is volcanic glass, it doesn’t form crystals at all, it is not a crystal

And as I scroll, I start to see items in...interesting shapes:

“Oh,” I think to myself. “Oh no.”

But it is too late. I have heard the siren’s song, singing to me of knowledge that will destroy me, but that I cannot help but seek.

These...elongated objects are almost always ambiguously described as “massage wands,” “crystal healing wands,” and other such innocuous things. The egg-shaped objects are, um, “yoni eggs.”

...Right. Okay.

Maintain the youthfulness of my sacred organ.

IT’S A SEX TOY. SAY IT. BITCH, IT’S A SEX TOY, IT’S OKAY, SERIOUSLY, THERE’S NO SHAME IN IT, SAY IT WITH PRIDE, SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST,

OKAY.

Okay. I’m good. I’m fine.

Actually, you know what, never mind. There is shame in this and I want it to be never acknowledged again.

Additionally, I am not fine.

Why the fuck are there so many of these—

At this point I stop and start googling.

Now, Selenite is the crystalline form of gypsum. It is also known as satin spar. Selenite is brittle and breaks easily, and has a Mohs hardness scale of 2.

For those unfamiliar with the Mohs hardness scale, a mineral with a hardness of 2 is soft enough that it can be easily scratched with a fingernail. It also is dissolved by moisture.

NO. DON’T PUT THAT IN YOUR BODY???? DON’T PUT THE GYPSUM, WHICH HAS A MOHS HARDNESS SCALE OF 2, IS BRITTLE AND BREAKS EASILY, AND IS WATER SOLUBLE, INSIDE YOUR LITERAL ACTUAL VAGINA??????????

I try to reassure myself with the fact that these things are probably not actually selenite, because making a dildo out of such a soft mineral in the first place would be very difficult. Having seen fluorite before, I feel pretty certain that the fluorite yoni eggs are probably actually just glass.

I google fluorite.

Okay.

Further exploring online shows me that fluorite is soluble in various strong acids.

Some guys on a forum in 2004 have strong contradictory opinions on this.

(I google the pH of the vagina.)

I don’t understand how pH works. I give up on the solubility question and google the toxicity of fluorite:

I now know at least one orifice fluorite does not go inside.

I have opened Pandora’s box, except Pandora’s box is filled with minerals God did not intend to be anywhere near the vagina carved into the shape of dildos. Etsy is advertising me sex toys I wish I could forget.

And vaginal steam herbs.

It seems that there is potentially a correlation between wanting to steam your vagina and wanting to put rocks in it. I know, groundbreaking discovery.

Okay, so we’re talking therapy substitute therapy substitute.

(I begin to think about how desperately we need universal health care. Maybe I just need someone, something, to blame.)

At this point, I realize that I haven’t done any googling on whether dildos made of rocks are a good idea at all. So, very tentatively, as if typing it more slowly will make it any less observed by the FBI, I google whether quartz should be used...internally.

First result that pops up:

That’s, uh. That’s reassuring.

I decide I’m incapable of unpacking this particular suitcase.

There are, of course, a small handful of articles debating the safety of rose quartz sex toys. But I’m getting the feeling that this is not a normal question to have in the first place. I close the tab with little relief.

Etsy is still enthusiastically recommending me things that hurt me psychologically.

...pleasure chalk?

How can I describe the fear that this image struck in me, reader?

Pleasure Chalk? What could that be?

Is knowing worse, or is not knowing? I scarcely have a choice:

I check in with my emotions.

Is this relief? Am I relieved that they are eating the dirt instead of fucking it? One review complains about the taste. I don’t know what they expected.

I try in vain to struggle against the tide, to return to the relatively normal side of Etsy. I begin to resent, no, hate, these deceptively aesthetically pleasing hippie shops eagerly spreading medical misinformation and things as yet unknown.

This, unlike the other “crystals” I have shown, appears to show naturally grown crystals. They are, of course, quartz crystals, and $45 comes off as extremely overpriced. I have a quartz crystal I got for a dollar at an Eastern Kentucky rock festival, about the size and quality of the ones in the photo.

Quartz is the most common mineral in the Earth’s crust. But at least this is regular levels of annoying.

Then I see this:

Well, I see the photo and the price, and I think, that looks like a regular quartz crystal. There’s no way a regular quartz crystal is $1,347.

I read the description:

I am crying. I don’t want to google any of this. I am beyond googling. I no longer desire knowledge.

THATS A QUARTZ CRYSTAL. MOTHERFUCKER THAT’S QUARTZ. SIO2, MOST COMMON MINERAL IN THE EARTH’S CRUST. ITS FUCKING QUARTZ IM—

I click on a malachite.

The malachite promises to protect me from emails. And at this, darkest hour, I want to be protected.

I have been broken. I have been lured to my demise.

Big Brother: loved.

Geology lab I’m supposed to be doing: incomplete.

Disabled Person: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL!

The United States Government:

In order for disabled people to receive any sort of financial assistant for their housing, food, bills, medical supplies, etc., they cannot ever have more than $2,000 of resources to their name. Ever.

It doesn’t matter what it’s for.

You’re saving up for a new wheelchair?

For college?

To put a downpayment on a house?

Hell man, you just happen to budget for once in your life so that you can have some extra money in case something bad happens?

Your benefits immediately get cut off if you’re a cent over $2,000.

And, even worse, you usually end up having to pay back every dollar the government gave you that month.

So say you get $400. If they find out you’re twenty dollars over the resource limit, you have to give them all $400 back and you undergo an investigation of your funds to see if you will continue getting money.

“What if I spend the money that day?”

Doesn’t matter. In fact, from what I can tell, people who do this are actually put under investigation for fraud.

before the movie came out, Marvel gave him an exclusive preview screening. SOme people were upset because they felt if Marvel was really wanted to thank mantlo, they should have donated money to Mantlo’s family.

Sometimes, at the end of the month, he has no idea what to do with his money because the whole month went by and he still has 400-ish bucks in his account, and he fucking panics because he doesn’t want to get anywhere near 2,000.

And here’s the funnest part of the story!

One day he did a huge commission on Second Life and wound up earning 1500 bucks off of it, and he told the guy to donate it 500 bucks at a time over 3 months. The guy didn’t want to, and just donated all 1500, which put my brother at 2,036 bucks.

The state IMMEDIATELY (I’m talking less than an hour) called him up to tell him over the phone that they were canceling his SSI, because they noticed he had gone over the 2,000 buck threshold. He had to tell them that someone had made a charitable donation to him and that this was not a common occurrence in any way shape or form, and upon not believing him, my mother had to call to talk to them as his legal caretaker and say basically the same thing until they called off the cancellation of his SSI money.

He also had to cancel his renter’s assistance because it put him to 1,062 a month, so if he went 30 days without spending any money they’d cancel his SSI altogether. Like, none of us in the family have any fucking clue why that regulation is in place and it’s the stupidest shit in human history.

Wah! Without thinking too hard?? Um..

• Bechloe.

• During the Barden Years.

• Planning the other’s birthday presents.

• Oblivious to the other’s feelings.

• Perhaps eventually falling in love.

• End game being at their graduation party.

My mom’s in the bathroom putting on lipstick and stuff for Dr.Alex. She talks about him all the time. She told my aunt you’re “stupid hot,” but I said “stupid’s” not nice.

M: Are you ok?

A: Fine… how are you?

M: I’m trying to choose between two men

A: okay well. Good luck with that

-Addison starts to walk out and Meredith begins to ramble-

M: i have to pick between them cuz I love you but I can’t have you

-Addison freezes at the door and looks back-

A: what did you say?

M: I’ve been letting men use me to see if that’ll work

-Addison walks back to her after closing the door. Meredith lays her head back and starts to talk to the ceiling.-

M: A very pathetic way to erase you. It’s not working though.

-Meredith laughs stupidly. Addison’s eyes sting.-

A: …

M: But I have to. I can’t love you. You hate me. You’ve always hated me. And now probably more. I let Derek take me too. But he’s the closest I’ll ever get to you. So I let it happen.

A: Gre-

M: I’m sorry I can’t tell you I love you. I’m a disaster. I’m a dirty mistress an adulterous whore.

-Meredith laughs but cries at the same time-

A: I don’t hate you, Meredith. I could never hate you.

-Addison walks closer and sits next to her on the bed. Meredith smiled dumbly.-

M: This is nice. My brain giving hallucinations of Addison. Weird that it’s trying to comfort me by giving me Addison.

A: Mer-

M: Can you do me a favor? Can you tell Addison that I’m sorry? Tell her that I know I deserve nothing at all but I am sorry for hurting her the way I did. Tell her I know I can’t have her and that I understand that she hates me.

-Addison allows herself to cry as Meredith speaks. Meredith cries along with her.-

A: Meredith I-

M: I’m sleepy…

-Meredith’s eyes get heavy.-

M: Please, tell Addie that I love her.

-Meredith falls asleep with tears still streaming down her cheeks. Addison brushes Mer’s tears away.-

A: You stupid fool, Meredith Grey.

-Addison can’t help but cry some more-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meredith wakes up still groggy but with glimpses of a dream. She recalls talking to Addison and telling her about loving her. She’s thankful it was only a ‘dream’. She opens her eyes fully and sees Finn. And she knows she shouldn’t do this anymore so she tells him that. And she feels awful when he leaves but it’s better that way. He deserves better than her. Then Derek comes to see her and surprisingly he breaks off whatever it was they had for all of three days after her brightest most destructive idea to date. So she stays alone for a while. She looks out the window and then she hears them. Addison’s heels clicking on the floor out in the hallway. And Meredith closes her eyes facing the window which is opposite the door. And she prays Addison will continue to walk but that doesn’t happen. Addison walks into her room and she hears the door click shut.

A: I know you’re awake, you idiot

-Meredith releases a sigh and turns to look at Addison. Addison looks at her with a soft smile.-

A: feeling better?

-Meredith nods cuz she can’t talk.-

A: Good. That’s good. So?

M: W-what?

A: I accept your apology

-Meredith looks at her confused.-

A: How much do you remember from before the surgery?

-Meredith’s eyes go wide because there’s no way what she remembers as a dream is actually true.-

A: can you choose me?

M: what are you-

A: Choose me, to love

M: But I…

-Meredith’s monitors start going crazy. Addison reaches a hand to her cheek and caresses gently.-

A: It’s ok.

-A few tears escape Meredith’s eyes.-

A: I swear. It’s ok. I’m ok.

M: Y-you s-sure?

-Addison smiles and the monitors start to calm down.-

A: Absolutely… now get some rest. I’ll watch over you tonight.

M: Ok.

A: Ok.

look at this shit

In the wild capybaras live in large groups so naturally a female capybara will take care of not only her own offspring, but all of the other offspring in the group. So capybaras are super great mothers who will adopt pretty much anything and take care of it.

Lots of places that rescue different animals will give a group of baby animals to a capybara to raise if they have one.

Like puppies

Ducks

Deer

Emus

“who doesn’t own a pair of 200 dollar AirPods?”