No longer Untitled, but still not clever

Just because the writing is shit, doesn't mean everyone is now free to hate on Aziraphale and collectively decide that Aziraphale always wanted to change Crowley or only cared about him as an angel and similar bullshit.

Aziraphale didn't even know angel Crowley. He met him ONCE. And when he met him again it was the war, Crowley joined the losing side and he DID NOT SMITE him. And Crowley knew he wouldn't.

Aziraphale spent 6000 years not smiting Crowley and not trying to harm him and not undermining his work and not reporting his lies to his head office.

He spent the time making sure Crowley doesn't get into trouble. From Flood onwards he had his eye on who might be listening. Even if it broke his heart he put breaks on when Crowley was going too fast. However much he wanted a picnic and all the dinners wanted by them.

Even when it DID break his heart he left for Heaven after S2 because they were still not safe and never could be with Heaven and Hell as they were. He saved Crowley from a terrifying eternity (and all the other demons) by delaying Second Coming.

And at the end when he gets insulted by GOD, he tries to (even with shitty writing) turn it into a compliment for Crowley, who he has always seen as different from them all. The one he always loved.

AND ALL I SEE IS AWFUL TAKES ON HOW HE SHOULD HAVE WORDED IT BETTER.

Don't we have enough negativity in the fandom? Fix the dialogue yourself. Get them away from God. Give them time. Take them upstairs.

First off, I think it was worded by crappy writers who didn’t care and weren’t going to start caring about it right at the end.

Secondly, it’s bad enough that there was pro- and anti-Aziraphale schism after S2; and now there’s a myriad of factions. You can be pro-GO3 and anti-Aziraphale and anti-GO3 and still anti-Aziraphale. * it’s like a minefield for Aziraphaleans at the moment.

But disclaimer: I still love this fandom and I do support everyone’s right to their own POV. And that includes me.

——

My faves in case you need any recommendations. (Some of these are really not appropriate for children, so keep that in mind lol).

The Dark Crystal - 1982 - the Skeksis will give you nightmares. I am honestly very proud of the remake for being just as disturbing if not more so than the original.

Watership Down - 1978- NOT FOR CHILDREN - Jesus Christ why did so many of our parents show us this film at a formative age? It's all about trauma and death and displacement and there's literal blood and murder. Not a G Rated Film. Still, it's very good. Loads better than that CGI remake from a decade ago.

The Secret Of NIMH - 1982 - Incredible movie. Minor disturbing elements. Probably my favorite on the list. It's just a great adventure story with real world issues (animal experimentation, mental health problems, disabilities) and there's even a lovely romance. Highly recommend.

Legend - 1985- This film is just straight up disturbing. Yes, there's a lot of beautiful shots of unicorns and sexy, 20-something year old (insane Scientology wack job) Tom Cruise and gorgeous Mia Sara, but there's also torture, madness and literally the Devil (Tim Curry is the entire reason you should watch this film)

Labyrinth - 1986 - I only really have two words. David. Bowie. My 10 year old self found out about a lot of burgeoning kinks while watching that man prance around in eyeliner and a codpiece. It's a wonderful adventure as well - if you ignore the blatant romantic and sexual tension between Bowie and an underage Jennifer Connelly (none of us could)

The NeverEnding Story - 1984 - Lots of disturbing imagery in this one! The Nothing was fucking terrifying, and the creatures in this world seemed uniformly creepy, but still incredibly well done. Love the adventure of it.

The Princess Bride - 1987 - Not technically a kids film maybe? Lots of adult themes and adult jokes, but safe for kids imo. I adored it and still do. Incredible performances by Cary Elwes and Mandy Patinkin. R.O.U.S, Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! (need I say more?)

The Last Unicorn - 1982 - A beautiful film with stunning representations of innocence, good and evil. Just gorgeous really. I should rewatch it as it's been 20 years or so.

"Pass me a book." Crowley says, eyes not leaving Satan.

"Which book?" Aziraphale is trying to think, why does it feel so hard?

"Well, it doesn't matter, they're all blank. Whichever one you give me is the right one."

Does Crowley have to be so short with him? Aziraphale wonders. What is happening to them? He reaches for a book. 'Bleak House' -oh. Fog. Love. Paperwork. Endless disputes. New home, like the old but... He hands it over to Crowley who writes in it.

"But - but that isn't The Book of Life." Something sparkles in Aziraphale's mind. If only he could get a moment to himself. Concentrate.

"It is if we say it is." Aziraphale hears Crowley say.

"What are you two idiots doing now?"

"I want answers." Crowley insists.

"Oh--no, no, you can't do that." Satan looks alarmed Aziraphale notices. But why? Oh.

"Oh, yes, we can." Crowley snarls at Satan. "Do you want to write it?" he asks.

"Give me the pen." Aziraphale sits down at his beloved desk, looks at the page in front of him. Absolutely not he thinks.

Satan' Aziraphale writes in the New Abridged Book of Life, disappeared like a nightmare upon waking, the only thing left after him was a vague feeling of dread and a bad memory.

"What are you doing angel? Did you just disappear Satan??" Crowley turns to Aziraphale sat at his desk, wide-eyed, Satan vanishing from in front of his eyes.

"Well, I'm sorry Crowley, I did try to be nice to him first!" Aziraphale snaps and feels his temper rise. He takes a deep breath. No. He will control this. He really needs some time to himself. "I don't know what you were expecting, reasonable answers? From him?"

"No, that's not- what are you writing now?"

With the universe destroyed, Aziraphale keeps going, hand shaking just slightly, God also ceased to exist, having nothing to control anymore, the two beings that never could be controlled out of Their grasp.

"Aziraphale!"

"Do you have any other ideas darling? Any better ideas?" Aziraphale asks, pouting. “We might not be getting any answers, but we are also not getting tricked by Them!" Aziraphale hisses.

"Um,” Crowley seems to concede, “What about - the books?" he gestures around them.

“You know, as much as I’d like to bring the universe back right this minute, I’d rather have a cup of tea first if you don’t mind and a moment to myself.”

“There’s nowhere I can lea-“

“Don’t be silly Crowley. You don’t count." Aziraphale sighs, looking and feeling so, so tired. "I mean," he gestures, "You don’t disturb my peace. Usually. I like having you around," he raises his voices as he tries to explain, "Haven’t I proved that over the millennia?”

“Well yes, but sometimes you’d still insinuate you have work to do-“

“Introverts have limits even for loved ones Crowley." Aziraphale sighs. "I haven’t had moment to myself in years. Let me get that cup of tea and then we can discuss what to do with the universe. After. Okay dear?”

I mean, fucking look at them 

1) Thank you, seriously. Those are fun and being included shows that my followers care enough to want to learn more about me.

This time for real.

The story has wonderful art by @lutraslutra! Rated M, strangers to lovers human AU with banter, falling in love, just a touch of angst and a happy ending!

Fiction summary:

Rovaniemi! The perfect destination for a solo holiday! Quiet, charming, full of history and art! A solo trip there was just what Aziraphale needed to lift his mood after being bombarded by the pink chocolate boxes and heart-shaped cards that Valentine's Day aggressively threw at him from every shop window. Self-care and self-love, that’s all Aziraphale wanted out of that holiday.

Enter Anthony J. Crowley.

The handsome, charming novelist who chatted Aziraphale up on the plane.

Well, nothing wrong with a holiday fling, after all.

Just for the week.

And he’d never think of Crowley again, of course.

Excerpt from chapter 6:

Crowley turned to look at him again and spoke in a little more than a whisper. “Hello. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Yes,” Aziraphale said, a quivering excitement oozing from his voice. “Was just passing and thought I’d stop by.”

Crowley leaned his head against the back of the sofa. “So, uh. Is um. Your room c-comfortable?” he asked and immediately bit his lips where a mischievous smile was threatening to make an appearance.

Aziraphale blinked. “Would you like to see it?”

Read from the beginning on Ao3.

Read Chapter 6 on Ao3.

Many thanks to @goodomensafterdark

My S3 fix-it canon-compliant fic is now complete. 11k words that start right after S2 ended and diverges from the S3 movie the moment the Metatron is ripped from the Book of Life. If you’re interested in a fix-it that acknowledges what we got and takes it an entirely new direction in a Choose Your Own Ending type way, check it out!

World Without End

Excerpt below the cut:

TL;DR: It was done like that to lay blame for their separation on Aziraphale, making him look like a fool and an asshole for not wanting to be an 'us' but 'choosing' Heaven. When no 'us' was possible anyway.

If S3 was gonna prove Crowley right in that nothing can change and Heaven and Hell are toxic and beyond repair - than what was all this weird, let's be us monologue about? It was never possible. Heaven and Hell would never leave them in peace.

Lets be us where? Crowley knew Second Coming was planned. Which would mean the end of Universe and Time and which would end up with him and all demons stripped of power and spending eternity in a burning lake or something. While Aziraphale'd have to watch The Sound of Music and think about birds flying to a mountain far far away for eternity.

Aziraphale could have been shown to make a conscious decision to go because he believed there was still a chance for a change. There didn't need to be all these menacing convoluted vibes from Metatron. Crowley could still have refused because he believed the system couldn't be changed.

The disagreement would remain exactly the same.

We'd still be arguing about whether change is possible. And who made the right choice. Which many of us did - but most of the discourse was not about that. It was about whether Aziraphale still believes in Heaven's "message". He didn't. We saw he was trying to stop Second Coming against ALL OF THEM. (Where was 'all of us against all of them' btw??)

We might have been spared three years of posts treating Aziraphale as gullible, manipulated, backsliding, choosing Heaven over Crowley, betraying Crowley, begging to be taken back; requirements for him to be hurt, to be taught a lesson, being proven wrong and so on and on.

The tragedy could have been two beings making different decisions under impossible circumstances. (With me backing the wrong one apparently because change is impossible and everything had to be destroyed.)

Instead, a huge amount of fandom discussion became about whether Aziraphale was an idiot.

If the ending was always going to validate that Heaven and Hell were beyond saving anyway, why was all that necessary??

("I was there, Gandalf!" I was there 2 years ago...") Personally, narratives or no, I found a good deal of s2 to be a delight, with pots and dances and Muriel.

...but I always wondered why it was needed.

--Did Aziraphale really have to be Supreme Archangel for s3 to happen? No.

--Did they have to be not talking? No.

--Did Gabriel or Beelzebub need to be gone? Not really. I guess it helps, but I would go insane much faster working for Gabriel, honestly

--Did we need the Metatron to be plotting things? No, did he even show up for 5 minutes?

--Did we need reinforcement of the ideas of how Aziraphale and Crowley unintentionally affected things around them? Perhaps- for me, that through the Bentley and Whickber St and the Ball might be the strongest thing, but hardly needing 6 episodes. It could have been done in half an hour-- show the ball scene, take them away for a short road trip or what have you with sentient Bentley, show how quickly the street falls apart, Bob's your uncle

All we needed was the knowledge that H&H interfered with humanity, the start of the second coming, a Bad Guy in Heaven (any would do) and the BoL (which s2 messed up by implying it might not even exist!)

Again, I very much enjoyed most of Season 2 because I loved watching Aziraphale and Crowley together.

But that was only necessary IMO for whatever the Early Plot was going to be. The Metatron rather than Michael. The adjustment to Heaven. Jesus and Adam.

What it ended up doing was setting everyone up against our angel for nearly 3 years, and then taking that easy way to start things quickly and make season 3 so much less fun to watch by making the 2 characters that could save any show and make it a joy-- and have them hurt each other. There were things I enjoyed about s3 of course, but I think 90% of the fandom, on both sides of the ending, would have enjoyed it much more if we had got to see them be absurd and funny and bickery and loving to each other instead of what we got.

S2 needed to be a certain way for a certain path to the end.

Captions cover the spot on the screen you put the information I need

The dialogue is captioned but not the song you have playing that the dialogue is responding to

You only captioned the person on the screen, not the person off screen who is also talking

No captioning of critical sound effects (alarms, bells, dogs barking, etc)

Speakers are not labelled at moments where it is not clear on the screen who is talking.

Captions cover the spot on the screen that you put the information I need!

Other d/Deaf people welcome to add.