For one thing, the water's on fire

It also seems like it will go off, sound and vibration, whenever someone posts. Trump is awake at 2 AM. You will not be able to shut off your phone or stop the noise until you handle this. It will also drain your battery by being a surprise 2 AM noisemaker.

Don't put it on your phone. It's actually stealing less data than I expected (I mean, yes, OBVIOUSLY it's tracking your location and sending that to any cop who's bored, but it isn't taking any credit card info, so hey, that's nice), but it still can access and fuck up anything saved on your phone, record any unlocking method you use including fingerprint and face, and seems to want to do so to force you to suddenly have an explosion of noise.

Again: this may extend to dropping a call for an ambulance.

Based on this article and other discussions with tech people, the app:

Provides your location, every 4.5 and 9.5 minutes, to Trump and company;

Can copy, modify, or delete information on your phone;

Can alter webpages you visit through them;

Has multiple security flaws;

Is creating a personal profile on users;

Can, in fact, interrupt phone calls, no definite answer on 911 but very likely;

Is showing signs of being spyware in unstated ways.

(I am chucky in this scenario above)

Chihuahuas are tiny but mighty and I would think their tenacious attitudes would be a net positive. I will address how MANY chihuahuas i think you would need to = the pulling strength of an Iditarod team below but I want to address some other factors a hypothetical chihuahua musher would face with this...unique team makeup:

1.) Chihuahuas need small frequent meals most of the time due to their size while arctic breeds tend to use the same amount of food more efficiently. Obviously we are going to need MORE Chihuahuas than a Alaskan Husky Iditarod team (16 dogs at max capacity), but they will also probably need to eat more food per pound than the huskies not only because of the husky ability to need less food per pound, but also because Chihuahuas are a breed that was developed for warm weather they have much shorter hair and lack the double coats of even Alaskan Huskies so they will also spend more nutrients keeping warm. Iditarod sled dogs consume an average of 12,000 calories per day and the race takes about 10 days more or less to complete at a competitive pace.

2.) Chihuahuas are actually pretty good at pulling stuff and several compete in weight pull, so pulling is a good outlet in a non hypothetical scenario with the right precautions. SOME. VIDEOS .

Adorable.

3.) A dog's ethical "working load" for longer distances can be determined by a % of its body weight and scaled for conditioning and breed size. A larger dog is typically going to be able to pull more weight per pound, but little dogs shouldn't be counted out. For small dogs up to 25 pounds it is typically said that 10-20% of the dog's body weight can be safely pulled (for large dogs it's usually more). In a weight pull scenario like above, which is very short distance, dogs can pull up to 3x their body weight (sometimes more but not often).

Okay let's do math (which i'm bad at, but calculators exist so thank god):

The Chihuahua standard says that dogs must NOT exceed 6 pounds/2.7kg and Alaskan Huskies are often not more than 60 pounds/27.2kg and less than 35 pounds/15.8kg (for reference my smallest Alaskan Malamute is 75 pounds/34kg and my largest is 110 pounds/50kg....)

Loaded with gear an Iditarod sled weighs around 200 pounds/90.7kg.

Most Iditarod dogs are not at the maximum size/weight range, mostly closer to 45 pounds/20kg on average. For the purposes of this exercise I will use 5 pounds/2.2kg for the Chihuahua. I will assume that these Chihuahua's are at their maximum strength and conditioning much like sled dogs and use the 20% metric for the amount of weight they could pull. Because our average Chihuahua is 5 pounds in this scenario it makes the math easy. 20% of 5 is uh.....1.

So to conclude it is likely that you would need a team of 200+ Chihuahuas to pull an Iditarod sled (and omg the amount of food...). That paints QUITE the visual.

Here is Jeff Deeter from Black Spruce Dog Sledding, an Iditarod kennel, running a 29 dog team for reference of what a large amount of dogs in harness might...be like?

anyways whose gonna make a visual of the hypothetical chihuahua team bc i would like to see it

kid: what are you eating from that basket?

me: triangles.

kid: can i have triangles?

me: dunno, did you brush teeth yet?

kid: no

me: mhm, and are you okay with screaming really loud?

kidd: what???

me: yeah, sometimes these make you scream really loud, are you ok with that?

kid: i am not afraid of screaming.

this is still very, very funny.

I also taught them that the F word is, uh, “flinkle”