the universe is, and we are

me in the echo chamber: exactlyyy, literallyyyy

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

saw a comment that misspelled “kind gesture” as “kind jester” and am now imagining a beautiful world where we praise good samaritans by calling them kind jesters. good on you, you gentle fool. you’ve made the world a sweeter and sillier place.

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

stop posting about your badly behaved dog i mean husband online if you’re going to get upset with the people telling you he’s a bite risk. “look at what my husband packed me for my lunch” and it’s the most insulting low effort assortment of snacks you’ve ever seen accompanied with a note that says “i see you as subhuman”. “ugh guys stop telling me my husband doesn’t respect me you’re not the ones in the relationship you don’t know what he’s really like” yes i do and i think you should have him put down.

Don’t forget to imagine the best case scenario too babe

do you want to turn our phones off and do some arts and crafts together?

funny thing about anxiety is sometimes it kind of breaks your sense of danger. like i am known for repeatedly putting myself in situations that make my friends go "bro you couldve died. werent you scared?" and the answer is 👍 yjeah. i did it scared. i do everything scared. i didnt know that was the actual important kind of scary because i usually have to ignore my fears to function in society. it will happen again. watch out.

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

I just made one point three billion dollars on polymarket correctly predicting how many ants would be born today