Maleficent Beauty

That is Zac Efron but with carbs. That is some premium beefcake. That is Zac Efron without having to dehydrate for 2 days, eat protein every 4 hours and work out 3 times a day. That is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or shamed in any way.

STOP👏BODY👏SHAMING👏MEN👏YOU👏FUCKING👏ARSEHOLES👏

It’s nationalist to state facts now?

How is this toxic?

x

human freedom

x

quality of life

x

social progress 

x

income equality (america was among the worst)

x

healthcare

x x

gender equality

x

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

My knee jerk response when asked this, even if it’s by a companionable dude old enough to be my dad, is to go, “uh, nah-” and then ramble uncomfortably until someone stops me-

-which is what I started to do, only to be cut off by Contractor saying, in an embarrassed rush, “some of the guys were asking me because you and I talk sometimes, but I didn’t want them to hit on you at work, so I told them that you Worship the Devil and would Hex them if they tried. I’m sorry.”

Which leaves me wheezing helplessly, trying to get my shit together, because this is honestly one of the nicest, most hysterical things I’ve ever heard someone say to me.

Oblivious to this, Contractor then follows up with, “and they were like ‘forreal??’ so I was like, ‘yeah, she’s probably a sadist, too, you can tell by her jewelry. She’ll stab you or something.’”

And tbh I can’t even come up with anything witty to say in response, so all I manage to choke out is, “pleASE LET THEM CONTINUE TO THINK THAT, I’M BEGGING YOU.”

And Contractor just smiles and is like, “Okay! I just wanted to let you know!” before driving off with his forklift.

My technique in sewing medieval clothes without a paper pattern is a little involved, but I like being able to make a garment and have it fit perfectly the first time I put it on, without having to do a fitting even one time.

How do I do this? Two programs - MakeHuman and Marvelous Designer

- I made a perfect 3D model of myself in MakeHuman by using my measurements and height, following this tutorial

- I imported the creepily perfect 3D model of myself into Marvelous Designer.

- I took medieval patterns from the internet, traced them, and resized them to fit the perfect 3D model of me. Like this t-tunic.

or more complicated clothes:

- Cut out the fabric using the same dimensions, adding a seam allowance

- sew it together (correctly the first time, not wasting fabric)

The first time I made a t-tunic, it went over my head and fit perfectly. I made a t-tunic for my brother using this technique, and he didn’t have to be involved in the process at all except for putting it over his head and it fitting perfectly. 

The hard part would be cutting out the fabric for more complicated clothes, but with ancient/custom clothing like this, you’d have to find a way to do that anyway. With this program, you know at least that it’s going to fit your beautiful body, and there’s less chance of wasting expensive linen..

this dog’s name was John. they found him half drowned in a bag of puppies that were not so fortunate as he was, and was taken in immediately. he was a runt and not quite right (most likely from the whole half drowned thing), but a very loving dog. the problem with John was that he smelled like death, and no one knew why. vets couldn’t figure it out. it was obviously some kind of skin problem, but they had no idea what kind. all anyone knew was that if you touched him, you would smell like death too, so you couldn’t pet him, and that for some reason, the only thing that made the smell go away was being around other dogs. so they got another dog and the death smell stopped and John lived a very happy life

when he was getting old, maybe about 15 years, part of his skull caved in. just like that! suddenly had a huge dent in his head! and he was totally fine. didn’t notice it, didn’t affect him at all. just this massive dent right there in his head where his skull had collapsed in on his brain, and he was still the happiest and most loving dog. the skull cave in, for whatever reason, caused the ear on that side of his head to just fall off entirely, but again, perfectly happy dog who did not know he was down an ear and a fully formed skull. they took him to the vet, thinking maybe they should put him down. I mean, wouldn’t you think so? but the vet said that the dog was eating, and pooping, and happy, so there was no reason to put him down, so they didn’t

but that’s not even the weird part. the weird part is the area of the brain that got caved in on was apparently the area that registers pain, so this one-eared, collapsed skull dog could no longer feel any pain. he got old, his joints got stiff, his teeth rotted out of his head, his tongue hung out of his mouth and got black and hard, and he felt none of it! in fact, he was happier than he’d ever been feeling no pain, and the fact that he didn’t feel how much he was falling apart somehow made him live until he was 23. that’s right, the collapsed skull, one eared, zero teeth, smells like literal death when alone dog lived to be 23 years old. they used to joke that he’d been dead for years, but was too stupid to realize it yet

Wouldn’t dragons have, like, cloacas or something?

Would an egg-laying species even find oral sex pleasurable since there was no evolutionary pressure for them to enjoy sex recreationally or even have sexual intercourse as we define it?

We were just thinking about making some more dragonborn.