Hello

the only sad thing about this scene being in picture form is that you can’t hear the way Garcia says “Quantico”. Kwan-tee-co.

This is seriously amazing.

Hello yes 911 I just witnessed a fucking murder

Important info for those who use tampons

the oldest millennials are 35. We’re also eligible for the Senate and the White House too. 

“given my understanding of linear time” 

why are women who use a bow and arrow inherently attractive to all gay women?? I’m not complaining just curious like every wuhluhwuh i know fancied Susan from narnia like why is the gay hivemind focused on this

The implication of strong arms

god ur so right

also: Artemis made a Very big impression on gay woman culture 

BOOST THIS 

THATS ALL THE BIG SCARIES IN ONE BUG TFFF JU

Give it a dime, apparently.

Soooooo…dissociate to escape or?

It’s laying eggs in you.

this is fascinating but when do we kinkshame Justin Schmidt

Justin Schmidt is the epitome of masochism

I love to be a homeowner. I’m responsible for so many extremely stupid things now

This is great he must have been so unnerved

what the fuck

•hospital waiting rooms •airports from midnight to 7am • bathrooms in small concert venues

I just got the weirdest feeling I swear

I, for one, appreciate your passion for liminal spaces and thank you for explaining it to the rest of us.

Your 12 recent emojis are how each month of the next year will be for you

Working in Retail in under 3 minutes

i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb

transcript: “So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more. So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects? And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is. So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening? So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.”

‘‘Tis the season

salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you

some of you are acting like i hate salt and vinegar chips and i need to clarify: i do not hate them. old dutch baked salt & vinegar chips is my favourite flavour of chips and one time i ate two bags of them in two days and my tongue started bleeding. i love the goddamn things. but why did humanity make them. to what end. my tongue literally bled from eating them. the flavour of them is just acid and salt. their gimmick is pain. and yet……. Chips Good…….

My mouth started watering reading this post

the heavier and fluffier, the better

I needed this

Is this foreal?

reblog to save lives!

^^^^^THIS

get help guys, please. if you’re hurting, don’t let that hurt consume you. seek help.

I never knew this. It’s spectacular.

THIS is what I was looking for a few weeks ago when I was in crisis; reblog to save a life!