why

We… were not. 

War had ravaged us, and sickness, and war once again, until our population dwindled beyond the point of recovery. We struggled against that, of course… we used genetic manipulation, and cloning, and even more desperate measures. None succeeded. When the humans came, we were sinking into apathy, only a few tens of us left. We had begun to discuss whether we should commit a mass suicide, or simply wait to fade away. 

And then the young species came, in their clumsy ships, and they asked us why we were so few. 

“We are becoming extinct,” we told them. “We have passed the point of recovery.” 

It is custom to avoid the races that are dying – once a species reaches the point of inevitable extinction, even war is suspended, and the fiercest enemy pulls back. The custom was born of plagues and poisons that could be carried forth from a dying world to afflict a healthy one, but it has the implacable weight of tradition now. After we are gone, after they have waited for the prescribed period of quarantine, there will be a fight for our world. Habitable worlds are few, and this is a good one, with plenty of free groundwater and thriving vegetation. It is a bitter thing to be grateful for the custom that allows us to die in peace, but we are grateful.

But the humans don’t know that custom, and they do not leave. They seem distraught, when we tell them we are dying, and try to offer their aid - but their technology is behind ours, and it is too late. When they realize that they can’t save us, though, they do something that bewilders us. 

Don’t say it was “delightful”; make us say “delightful” when we’ve read the description. –C.S. Lewis

I found this great piece of writing advice from C.S. Lewis on twitter today.(courtesy of @thatboycanteach)

I know the phrase “show don’t tell” confuses a lot of people who are new to critiquing/workshops, because all writing is telling… isn’t it? 

But this is exactly what writers are talking about when they use that phrase. 

This is also why, when critiquing your work, writers might tell you to remove adjectives and adverbs, or why you might hear that those two types of words are “bad writing.” It’s not that you’re never allowed to use an adjective or an adverb, but that–like Lewis says–it’s much more preferable to be terrified, than to be told something is terrifying. 

Borrowing the two adjectives he uses (Delightful and Horrifying)

Sandra was giddy with joy to the point that she practically skipped with every step. The evening with Brandon was one that she felt could have only happened in her wildest dreams! They danced and sang and giggled the night away, enjoying soft, tender moments in between fits of guffawing laughter and meals so delicious that they defied description. She couldn’t wait to tell Odette everything, and more importantly, she couldn’t wait to see Brandon and his cute button nose again.

(This just screams delightful! Or at the least, it gives the impression that Sandra had a very delightful night with Brandon and would like to have another with him)

(Now to try one for horrifying)

Peter could feel his heartbeat thunder in his ears as each erratic beat crashed and hammered against the inside of his chest. The air around him felt cold as ice and bit into his lips as he hobbled deeper and deeper into the woods. Anywhere… He thought. Anywhere but here, anywhere has to be safer than here! His eyes were darting back and forth, watching the swaying trees and the weakening beam from his torch as the leaves rustled and branches swayed overhead. “I told them…” Peter whispered as he grasped the metal crucifix hanging from his necklace. His grip was so tight that he felt every groove and etching bite deeply into the skin of his palm. “I told them not to take anything from the Arkham library… b-but. But they didn’t listen. Dear God, save me, please.” Peter pleaded as tears rolled down his face. He froze as he heard a sound from behind him: a twig breaking, something thumping onto and scattering leaf litter, and a low, gasping rumble that blew hot, moist air over Peter’s entire body. “Oh god NO!!!” Peter screamed as he was thrown to the ground before silence filled the inky darkness of the forest.

BUT