Beware the fatty

being naked is not sexy. wearing a white 18th century shirt with poofy sleeves tucked into a pair of black high waisted trousers is sexy. there are no exceptions

Healthy male friendships are almost as rare in mainstream fiction as gay male relationships, and maybe more rare in fanfiction. Let men be wonderful friends without pushing a romantic relationship, just like men and women should be able to be wonderful friends without the pressure of a romantic relationship.

*AGGRESSIVELY SLAMS REBLOG UNTIL I DIE*

This is literally the reason men are so terrified of being open about loving each other platonically, because they don’t want people to assume they’re gay just because they can be supportive of their fucking friends

PREACH

This is like a direct response to half of Tumblr.

Not all relationships have to be romantic. Being close to someone doesn’t mean you are in love with them. Platonic friendships can be just as strong and wonderful as romantic ones.

it’s sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like there’s no non-fucked up part of rasputin’s existence

did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia’s greatest love machine

additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock.

Rasputin was an old god from times before humans

He is like a cleric gone wild

“did rasputin do something problematic” i am going to die

I think we’re not seeing the bigger picture here which is that Disney has a dating sim app, if Iago is in it then who the fuck else is in it

I cannot stress this enough, but, what the fuck

HIS WHAT ???

This post is a new punch in the face every time I see it

I can’t believe that no one in this specific thread (maybe they have in the notes, I’m just talking about this version of the thread) has mentioned that the artist they hired for this game is the person who made Black Butler.

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

one of Doofenshmirtz’ dates ditched him for a whale

Look, I’m not that knowledgeable about Phineas and Ferb lore (although I’m very glad that my post resonated with the Gay Scientists Dating Tired Platypuses fandom) but what, pray tell, the fuck is going on? am i having a stroke? im willing to accept the teacher falling in love with her desk because language teachers just are like that but is this nerd about to bang an ice cone?? hello?????

It’s the ice cream machine,and her name is Carla

Let us also pop bottles for the time Doofenshmirtz had to help his ex-thwarty call’s current nemesis become desirable for punching again. 

I thought Perry was with the Panda?

I think there was a scene where Peter and Perry were having dinner together at a fancy restaurant. But that was before Doofenshmirtz stopped being evil.

what the fuck is going on in Phineas and Ferb

yeah..but you see..there’s this wonderful thing in cartoons that real life doesn’t have and its animals being actual sentient/anthropomorphic. So,you can’t compare our life with a cartoon ship in this case

Also Perry is arguably one of the smartest characters on both shows when it comes to deductive reasoning, common sense, and social intelligence. He could tell just by looking at a room exactly what happened there a few hours ago. He can problem-solve on the fly, and does so very often. He has basic engineering skills (or at least, “basic” for this universe, which is kinda masterful for our universe), and can communicate complex thoughts to others despite being physically incapable of speaking English (he even knows ASL!) To claim that Perry the Platypus is incapable of providing consent simply because he isn’t human is a disservice to his character. And honestly, if we’re going by the anthropological definition of “human” (bipedal, opposable thumbs, ability to communicate complex thought), then he is by all means “human.” He’s just… A Human Platypus. …?

What the fuck became of my post

Also Doof is legally an Ocelot

Logan that only raises more questions on an already strange post

It’s canon. In the OWCA Files. Him legally being an ocelot is what allows him to be an agent.

What the FUCK

Yeah, in one part of his long, tragic backstory, he was abandon and raised by ocelots

I was wondering when someone was gonna bring up the ocelot thing

Listen, I’m definitely taking all of this in and carefully considering it but I’m also still not over the fact that someone called the P&F/MML canon the “Dwampyverse”

the new saying is “lactose the intolerant” lmao