King of Everything

advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore’ bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love

You get bigger so you can store even MORE love and appreciation for the world inside of you

ngl I thought the puzzle piece as an autistic symbol meant like. I am a vital puzzle piece to your society. humans would never have invented half the things they did without us. you're telling me it means I'm missing something?? buddy. listen. listen to me reeeeaal closely. no human has all the pieces to humanity. no one. no one has all the features enables no one has all the strengths weaknesses or quirks. no one has a whole puzzle. we make the freaking complete picture together. that's the freaking point.

Neurotypicals are encouraged to reblog this btw but if you think I'm broken for being autistic I'll break your bones

Bringing this back celebrate autism and the vital diversity of humanity with me by burning Autism Speaks to the ground

'you wouldn't pirate a-' i would steal anything from any company. anything in the world. i dont even want it i just hate you

This is how you be a rich person

Everyone’s being so critical. I, for one, think we should give xvideos a shot.

hearing a song you really like on the radio just hits different than streaming it. same with catching a movie you really like on cable just as it's starting. streaming services will never be able to capture this very specific kind of simple joy

This sentiment is so alien(and frankly dumb) to me that it took me a minute to remember Taylor swift fans exist and that this person probably is one

literally just making up a woman to be mad at....this post was inspired by hearing a george strait song on the radio in the year of our lord 2023 but go off i guess

this sentiment is actually about my 50-something father, who owns all the godfather movies on dvd but will only watch them when they’re on tv

your dad and i actually have that in common

They really want people to start torrenting again eh?

Yo ho ho, I don't mind paying some for streaming, but this is ridiculous. They're even bad at capitalism.

Killed ANOTHER FREAKING CANADIAN SOLDIER. How do they keep getting into my house?! Stop!!

It occurs to me that people might not know that this is another name for a mayfly. I am not being infiltrated by humans from Canada.

Much like how archers and digital artists are mortal enemies

not carpal tunnel syndrome 😫

Can someone please explain to conservatives that not everything you dislike should be illegal

There’s a lot of things I’m personally against that I still think should be legal. White people with dreadlocks probably shouldn’t exist but you know. Keep it legal. Free speech or whatever. You’ve got a right to make bad decisions with your hair.

Conservatives talk a lot about government overreach and then try to make kissing illegal. Like my guy get your priorities straight

Today on clownery from my fraternity: I started “pavlov training” this guy from my frat as a joke but now it’s actually working

Me, in the summer heat, taking 2 points of fire damage every second: aeugh aeugh aeugh ough eough ough eaugh