someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust
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@octobaba
someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust
congratulations for writing the funniest and also most correct tags on this post

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do people just not find those AI pop-ups everywhere not incredibly patronizing: "help me write" "help me visualize" help me put my balls in your mouth
I don’t know if this crosses a line so feel free to ignore this but I need to know what it’s like being a part time dildo salesman because I’m picturing a guy in the 50s wearing a business suit and a fedora going door to door and asking the residents if they want to buy dildos
I part-time at a sex shop and it's like retail but WAY funnier when the customers are rude.
Like sir do you really wanna sass me while asking for advice? When I hold the fate of your prostate in my hands
Uh oh, the player character is coming this way. Quick, engage in mindless small talk which comments on recent events or location relevant details
was at the public pool yesterday and i kept looking around at all the women with fat and rolls and stretch marks and discolouration and cellulite and scars and thighs that bounce and bellies that jiggle and it's like wow. literally Everyone has these features that society is trying to convince us are evil and unnatural. idk it just really put things into perspective for me. highly recommend checking out your local public pool

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obsessed w blunt headed tree snakes
Been re-reading my copy of Sherlock Holmes, and I never noticed how little Watson actually speaks in the text. Other than a couple questions and a few equivalents of ‘oh my!’, the main way we hear his thoughts are through his narration. Now I know this probably because ACD had a limited amount of words, and watson dialogue wouldn't be as interesting to the readers- But I like the idea of 'WORD FAMOUS DETECTIVE and his hypeman that he brings along’. You never hear a peep out of that guy, he just stands menacingly in the background until Holmes says something like “ah yes. He was 6ft tall.” and he goes “ AHH FUCK YEAH, THATS MY FUCKING BITCH I LOVE YOU YOU’RE THE SMARETEST PEROSN IN THE WORLD I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU GOT THAT LETSS A FUCKING GOOOOOOO!!!!!!” and then falls silent again.
Is my knee-jerk reaction coming through for anyone else
Imo the best type of system for children to grow up in would be one that assumes the birth parents/primary guardians won't do shit and takes care of every aspect of childcare that's essential for their wellbeing and development, collectively.
But I'm just a guy who only learned how to brush his teeth properly and got glasses as a child because we had both a dentist and a doctor come to school on a regular basis. The dentist would have us all stand in a circle with our little toothbrushes and show us how to brush and correct our technique. The doctors would give us general health assessments and then have the teachers contact our patents and essentially peer pressure them into getting us any health intervention we needed. My parents only reluctantly got me glasses because they knew the teachers would judge them if they kept seeing me sit in the very front row and still squint to see the chalkboard. So I'm biased.
The only times I ever remember seeing a dentist or doctor as a child was at school. I'm quite healthy physically and I'm very grateful for all the care I got from the various professionals who cared about my well-being and development more than my actual parents did.
We had free healthcare including dental, mind you, my parents just couldn't be bothered. When my brother, as a teenager, asked our mother if she could take him to his orthodontist appointments (which he'd already arranged for on his own) she basically told him she didn't feel like it and he had to take the bus.
If I could improve anything about that system, I'd take it even further and make it so kids could see a doctor and get meds, treatments, therapy, tests, disability aids etc. without having to rely on their parents as well. I shouldn't have had to put up with being bullied and guilt-tripped about the family finances and the time investment needed to take me to the optometrist every time I needed new glasses.
Some parents would not take care of their children even if they were given all the time and the resources. Mine are a great example of that — my mother stopped working and became a homemaker when I was in kindergarten, my father worked from the garage and was also always home. They had a car and our village even had a bus that would come once or twice an hour that would take you to the next two bigger cities.
Did that, plus the free healthcare, translate into them actually parenting and caring for us properly? It did not. They only ever did any of that reluctantly when not doing it would make them look bad, and most of the time they did a shitty job because they could never resist the urge to boost their egos by means of bullying literal children.
So I have to wonder: what did they actually contribute to our upbringing? Like they didn't teach us shit and mostly they just endangered our mental and physical health — but hey, at least they gave me cPTSD! That took some work too.
see also family abolition, and youth liberation .
A knee-jerk response to neglectful parenting I see a lot is “people should have to get licenses and take rigorous tests to PROVE that they should be ALLOWED to have kids” which is eugenics. That’s just the starting line for eugenics.
We are at a point in humanity where there is no meaningful reason why we shouldn’t be structuring our societies around wellbeing for all instead of wellbeing for the “deserving”.
Assume some parents will fail. Build social infrastructure that is designed to support failed kids rather than punish would-be parents.
Parents do not have to be neglectful to fail!
They can be busy, tired, stressed about finances, ignorant, etc. They can want to do the best for their kid and Fail Anyways.
The best thing is to support the children and give them the tools they need to succeed even if the parents are already giving them those tools. Because you can never learn something too much.
Also sometimes parents become disabled or die and family can't always be counted on, and sometimes there isn't other family
“Life after menopause is exceptionally rare in animals. It can evolve only in creatures where grannies help younger family members survive. Only human, killer whale, and short-finned pilot whale females routinely live for substantial periods after they stop breeding. Like humans, killer and pilot whales have roughly twenty-five to thirty childbearing years, then can live another thirty or so. And as Ken’s just explained, some live a lot longer. Up to a quarter of the females in a group are postreproductive. These whales are not waiting to die; they are helping their children survive. As human children often benefit from their grandmothers’ attention, killer whale grandmothers boost their grandkids’ survival. A rather bizarre twist of killer whale society is that killer whale mothers remain crucial to the survival of their adult children. When older killer whale females die, their adult children start dying at high rates, especially males. Male killer whales who are under thirty years old when their mothers die suffer a tripling of the annual mortality rate compared to males in their age group whose mothers are still alive. Male killer whales who are more than thirty years old when their mothers die face death rates more than eight times as high as males in their age group whose mothers are still living. Daughters under thirty show no mortality increase after their mothers’ death. But daughters older than thirty when their mothers die have more than two and a half times the death rate of same-age females whose mothers are alive. Males’ handicaps of the extra drag of their huge dorsal and pectoral fins and the extra food required for their immense size (at around 20,000 pounds, males can be one-third more massive than females) seem to make them reliant on their working mothers for food. Females don’t have the males’ impediments, but while raising young, females may rely on food shared by their no-longer-breeding mothers. Adult females share essentially all the fish they catch, and more than half goes to their children. Adult males share their catch only about 15 percent of the time—usually with their mothers. While no one fully understands their strange death pattern following the loss of a mother, extreme parental care is likely at the root. Toothed whales are the world’s champion nursers. Short-finned pilot whales continue to produce milk for up to fifteen years after the birth of their last calf, likely nursing other females’ young. In bottlenose and Atlantic spotted dolphins (further study might reveal others), some females never give birth. Denise Herzing dubbed them “career females,” because their role in society does not include motherhood. They might be infertile. They might be gay. But their contribution is crucial: they do a lot of babysitting. When Herzing entered the ocean with a visiting nine-year-old girl, “White Patches, the eternal babysitter herself, had never seen me babysitting a young human before. Her excitement vocalizations were audible and electric and she continued to swim around us, eyeing the human youngster attached to me.” (Researchers sometimes call babysitters “aunts.” That’s precisely who they often are.)”
— Beyond Words, by Carl Safina
thoughts on white people into raceplay?

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Do you have any advice for someone trying to make peace with having extremely taboo kinks/fetishes (as in, things that are very illegal & morally wrong in real life level taboo)? I obviously have zero desire/intention to act on anything irl, but is there any trick to feeling less weird & guilty about jacking it to fucked up fiction & fantasies? Or is that just part of the ordeal of being a person?
well you're not even doing anything irl so you're? what? jacking off to things you imagine in your head? then who gives a shit? like what is there to make peace with? you gotta go pick up some litter or plant a garden or something and focus on something real.
Jessie after dark
update i have concerns about where katherine is going
I’m a little more concerned about Roland at the moment.
Not to awaken the Katharine fandom or anything but, as of April 2020, she’s doing her absolute best
Oh to be a misunderstood sassy girl who disappears for a year and returns having gained 1,000 pounds
I was just looking at how Sally was doing and
So, Thomas definitely is up to something
WHAT IS HE UP TO
He got the shark equivalent of the 2am zoomies.
christopher nolan great gatsby where jay sits down by the pool before he’s shot and says “our roaring twenties are collapsing”
you can experience life altering devastating emotion and then your cat will throw up next to you & look at you like does this help ?
feminist killjoy hours again, what the actual fuck is “weird girl literature” and how often do we acquiesce to the latest degrading gendered advertising campaigns
Women did not fucking pioneer horror, thriller, and science fiction as we know it for publishing to infantilize it into a high school phase
is Stephen king “weird boy literature”? Or does he get to be an adult horror novelist?

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i think the hardest i’ve ever been owned was when my boyfriend and i were talking about our favorite feelings/sensations and he was like “my top 9 out of 10 feelings are sex with you” and i was like “aw baby🥺🥺🥺. what’s the tenth one??” and he didn’t hesitate even a little before saying “sex with your mom”
Good news!!!
I did!!!