the penis gazer
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Fai_Ryy
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Claire Keane
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@localcursedfriend
the penis gazer

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bad batman comic: oh no the joker kidnapped my girlfriend of the month! good thing i have the help of nightwing and red hood and robin and the other robin and batgirl and
good batman comic: my batsuit is talking to me again. it wants me to buy a gun.
Some superbat
i just KNOW ilya has one of those lockscreens that feeds from your gallery and changes the picture every hour and itβs like
cottage lake view. shane on ice. food. svetlana doing a shot hands free. can of ginger ale next to a can of coke. hole (shit fuck this was not supposed to be in the main folder). picture of a game schedule. shane with tousled hair in a raiders hoodie with a green smoothie moustache. thirst trap shirtless selfie. a picture of a dog in a sweater. a picture of anya in a sweater. picture of a city skyline from a rooftop of a skyscraper. shane bent over picking up something off the floor. blurry group selfie of the centaurs night out. dick pick (god dammit ilya). two pairs of skates. tangled hands with wedding rings on. anya covered in mud looking like a swamp goblin. close up of shaneβs belly button.
This guy who does martial arts on ig has his wall covered with dc yaoi
Catwoman looking on is just hilarious

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Swimming makes you a different kind of tired, right? And Shane knows this, has grown up in and around lakes, he built his Cottage right next to a lake. Ilya does not. Yes he's an athlete but when he comes to the Cottage it's the first time he spends a longer amount of time in the water, swimming around, doing handstands, all of it.
So his first post lake nap hits hard. Ilya, freshly showered, just meant to sit down on the couch for a second but he wakes up four hours later. Half his curls pressed to the side of his head, the other fluffy because he fell asleep with his hair still a bit wet. He's got faint lines on his cheek from where his face was pressed into one of the pillows. No idea what time it is or how long he's been asleep. It takes him a minute to come back online.
"Shane?", he mumbles, not fully awake yet but already searching for Shane.
"Right here", comes Shane's voice and, oh, yes he is. Ilya blinks sleepily at him. It takes him another minute to realise that his feet are in Shane's lap. One of Shane's hands is on his shin, thumb softly caressing it. In his other hand he's holding a book. Ilya watches as Shane puts his bookmark into the book, putting it on the small table next to the couch so he can give Ilya his full attention.
"Good nap?", Shane asks. And he's smiling and his eyes are warm and his thumb keeps caressing Ilya's shin and Ilya just feels so warm and safe and happy because he still can't believe he actually gets to have this. With neither of them having to rush, to leave, to pretend that they didn't want to stay in the first place.
So Ilya just nods, stretching and then settling back into the cussions. "Sorry for falling asleep", he says, voice raspy from sleep, eyes already falling closed again. Because, well. He did just fully pass out on Shane. But Shane just smiles at him, squeezing his shin.
"It's okay, Ilya. We have time. Go back to sleep, I'll be here."
And Ilya falls back asleep, safe and happy and with the promise of Shane right next to him.
Headcanon that Shane doesnβt drink just because of his diet, but because heβs absolutely terrified he will tell everyone how much he misses Ilya Rozanov and how good a kisser Ilya Rozanov is and how much of a sex god Ilya Rozanov is and how amazing at giving head Ilya Rozanov is and how much Shane loves giving Ilya Rozanov head and how much he loves having Ilya Rozanovβs giant cock inside him and how he can let down his guard with Ilya Rozanov and just how much heβs in love with Ilya Rozanov.
I love the headcanon that Shane, when he's really drunk, is a runner (kudos to whoever came up with it).
It doesn't happen often (his Canadian Boyscout Golden Boy of Hockey image is in tact) but there's at least one YouTube compilation. And it's just ordinary people filming insta stories or videos with their friends. And suddenly whoosh Shane Hollander flies past them. Followed closely by Hayden and/or JJ sprinting after him shouting his name.
And over the years more of these videos pop up. Only now they also include Ilya. Wyatt. Troy. On one notable occasion even Scott because he's the only one who knows his way around New York's streets.
The first time Hayden shows up to a club in sneakers Ilya teases him about it but boy does he reget his words when he chases down a drunk Shane four hours later, Hayden already a couple of steps ahead.
Well I'm back on my ranting again. But how, what could POSSIBLY be the context of this specific panel???
The hand placement? The belt? The gentleness that seems to be seeping from Clark as Bruce sits carefully on top as if afraid to touch him?
We may not be able to see their faces, but I just know they're looking at each other, and they're sharing that moment for as long as it can last.
Troy doodling Harrisβs name on his notebook with a bunch of hearts: god Iβm such a selfish piece of shit

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Sometime after Hollanov are outed and Shane is traded to Ottawa, Harris decides to do a "two truths and a lie" video.
Ilya: "My eyes are brown, I'm the captain of the Ottawa Centaurs, and before we were boyfriends, Shane Hollander and I were in a 7-year situationship."
And at first the comments on the video are all like "Haha, Rozanov, you're meant to pick something that could be true, not something that's so obviously a lie."
And then all of a sudden, people just start commenting zoomed in photos of Ilya Rozanov's eyes. And the internet loses its fucking mind.
And that's how Ilya and Shane reveal their relationship timeline.
we are going to see this. on our tv screens. holy fuck.
this scene is literally just
if you're not playing mermaids with me then i have to assume you're playing mermaids against me
whats a little make out sesh between friends?
Superbat honeymoon somewhere away from crime (for a few hours, at least)

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Lazurus Pit this, Superboy-Prime's reality punch that, yeah Jason Todd was actually resurrected because Gotham herself felt Bruce Wayne's grief and maternal yearning for his baby and jumpstarted that kid's heart.
YAOI VS. YURI RAP BATTLE
DC Pride: Tim Drake Special (2022)