bless me anyway

jacob is sitting in front of a huge canvas right now with a charcoal pencil in his fist trying to figure out how to make the ottawa centaurs logo look like it's performing autofellatio

I need a job and a shower and also a billion dollars

Out of all the heated rivalry analysis I’ve seen I’ve never seen someone mention that after the all star game Shane no longer drafts and deletes texts. He says what he intends to say the first time and stops editing and second guessing himself and it’s one of my favorite details showing that their dynamic has changed and no one talks about it

you're not unknowable you blond bisexual bastard. there's a socially inept bottom right there and he wants to snort you like a line of coke

My idea of myhollanov’s texting frequency/habits post-Heated Rivalry make me 🥹 I see their positions flipping a little and suddenly shane is always texting first and being clingy and concerned and boyfriendy where ilya is used to being the pursuer but now it’s not abt pursuit it’s about comfort and ilya brings shane comfort so he’s always like “i miss you already” “good morning, how did you sleep?” “just wanted to say hi and that im thinking about you” “i hate that you had to leave” like his earnestness really comes into play for me here and i just love thinking of double-texter sweetie pie shane once they’re boyfriends

ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal

ilya comes back from therapy with galina like three months after this fight (of course it was a fight) and with the same candor as ashley padilla in then mom confession sketch goes i’m only going to say this once and i’m only going to say it if after i do you promise you will not react no talking no faces no nothing and shane’s on the couch reading like uh. what’s going on? and ilya goes what i have to tell you. Is that I think I was treated unfairly. By my mom. and of course shane makes a face and ilya is reacting like a wild fucking animal

#but that was his mama and he loved her so much and she was gone way too soon and he has put her up on a pedestal :(#because what else was 12 year old ilya supposed to do and she wasn't strict like his father so for him that meant she automatically couldn'#do anything wrong because at least she was better than his father and on her good days she hugged him and told him she loved him#and ilya has a hard time computing that two things can be true at once yes she loved him yes she also treated him unfairly sometimes#<- not only does he put her on a pedestal but he also romanticizes his own role in this situation#''wasn't i a good son? wasn't i so mature and empathetic and sensitive and nice?''#because of course this is what his mother would tell him (which reinforced those ideas)#and also suddenly being nice and soft and sensitive wasn't a bad thing like his father would say#it would make him feel vindicated#which again just reinforced the feeling#ilyalogía#heated rivalry