bless me anyway

mom’s mental illness. he would never want to consider himself like his father. this plays into my russian doll fic i will likely never write. it would actually be the perfect way to unravel him and make him finally Confront It All. he’d wonder if this is how it was for his mom, maybe that’s why she killed herself, maybe that’s why she left him, why she was sloppy enough to let him find her body, maybe that was the only way out she could find. he always knew she was waiting for him somewhere. maybe he’s just in one of the timelines that got left behind.

this is such a beautiful question thank you so much for coming to me with this 🙏 I think most of their fights are like Ilya needling and Shane going, "Do you ever the fuck up?" and then they don't talk for 10 minutes to 2 hours and come back and give half-hearted apologies that are mostly more because they are embarrassed than actually because they're actually sorry, but here are my top five actual blow up fights not in any actual order:

Ilya is telling Shane about how he used to skip school on his mama's bad days where she wouldn't be able to get out of bed and make her tea and Shane makes a face and says, "You shouldn't have had to take care of her. You were just a kid."

When Shane finds out Ilya let him win at rummy one time (because he didn't want to play the stupid card game, Hollander) and it deteriorates into yelling about if he let him win here, where the fuck else did he let him win?

Reoccurring blow up fights about Ilya going on medication that usually something like "I don't want to rely on pills for the rest of my life, Shane." "Well its that or I fucking uninstall the locks on the bathroom, Ilya!". These get especially worse after Svetlana visits and lets slip the one time Ilya did swallow a bunch of pills and she had to break down the bathroom door and stick her fingers down his throat when they were 15.

They are already having a fight about something (Shane scheduling a sponsorship meeting on a day off, Ilya telling the Centaurs that he can't go out because Shane won't let him, if Shane is being too hard on Haas, etc.) and Ilya goes, "Why don't you just get on your knees, Hollander?" and Shane is immediately madder than he's ever been in his entire life.

i do not have dry socket

i do not have dry socket