you're a mean girl cady

What if I swab my pussy with this at home covid test to see how absolutely sick it is

doomsday preppers always keeping rusty tins of food in their basement but never building springhouses and smokehouses and paddocks for future livestock 🤨 those canned peaches are only going to bring you so far babe

are you going to study medicinal herbs and their cultivation or are you just going to keep stockpiling weapons like a little bitch 😩

going to shoot your way out of an infected cut, dumbass?

This post is ancient and stupid but I still laugh whenever I see it

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

Reblogging for the last addition

I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.

“I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘‘em’ when relevant” is surprisingly powerful as both a statement and philosophy

This is the best comic series I’ve ever seen

Agreed

THE CREATOR OF CENTAURWORLD

@augustdementhe @clonesome

americans think ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN of driving 7 hours. they’ll drive 7 hours just for dinner. they’ll drive 7 hours just for chips and dip

i went to england to visit the family of this boy im dating in birmingham. one of his sisters lived in manchester and his whole family kept being like we wish lila was her you would love her blah blah blah lila would just lobe you blah and I was finally like well why couldn’t she make it? everyone was like lol as we said she’s in manchester??? that’s it. i looked up the distance and it’s like less than two hours away and when me and my dude went to grab a beer later that night I was like so does Lila not get along with your parents like what’s up? again, he’s like babe I told you she’s in manchester. I was like are the villages at war????? he goes “it’s too far. this isn’t holiday.” I was like babe we’ve drivin 4-5 hours for weekend trips to the beach Im just confused- and he cuts me off and goes “that’s American me. We don’t do that here”

just seen someone’s tattoo that i guess was supposed to say memento mori in greek alphabet except it was spelled ΜΣΜΣΠΤΘ ΜΘRΦ = msmspth mthrph (?) and i am obsessed like yes girl smsjxhwbesk to you too who needs words❤️