But if you let yourself complain, if you let yourself swear terribly and creatively, and you stare down at the bruised vegetables like they’ve personally disappointed you, and you make yourself smile because this is really just so, so stupid, you feel a little better. There’s a power to acknowledging that something sucks and making yourself feel better anyways. There’s a power to going “and THEN my bag broke, and it’s like—seriously? my day was bad enough” and doing it with a smile.

Human, suddenly sucked by portal into a Magical Land: damn I wish I came from a magical world lol

Elf wizard dude: hahaha bro what are you talking about

Human: well, my world is just—

Elf wizard dude: what about the magic rocks????

Human: What magic rocks?

Elf wizard dude: You know, the magic rocks. The ones that generate near infinite energy by tearing apart the fabric of their reality? You know, like, uranium? You haven’t found those yet?

Human: Wait wait wait. That’s not—

Elf wizard dude: And like, come on, you even have some low level necromantic spells over there, like—

Human: We do not have necromantic spells, what are you talking about

Elf wizard dude: didn’t you say your friend was an EMT though? they do that shit all the time. Hell, you don’t even have to be like a high level caster or some shit, it takes like a few weeks to learn CPR

Human: Wh—

Elf wizard dude: You guys do have CPR, right?

Human: I mean yes but—what the—CPR is not necromancy!! That’s not how it works, it doesn’t bring people back from the—well I guess technically it does but that doesn’t—

Elf wizard dude: Next you’re going to be telling me Mothman doesn’t “count” either.

Human:

Human: …

Elf wizard dude: Ohhh. You got just the cursed magic rocks.

Human: …

Human: Well I mean—there is that one type of parrot but like that doesn’t—

Elf wizard dude: And no sapient animals? At all?

Human: Well ... I mean, depends what you call ‘sapient’. Crows remember who’s nice to them and bring them presents, and will get the whole flock to attack people who are mean to them, and cats basically conned us into lavishing them with food and attention--

Elf wizard dude: And that?

Human: Oh, that’s a pigeon. They’re really dumb, though.

Elf wizard dude: It’s getting on your public transport network!

Human: Yeah, it’ll get off at its stop-- wait.

dont you think its weird. dont you think its weird that the space race last time was two of the biggest powers in the world. and now its a handful of rich men. dont you think its weird they can afford that. dont you think its bad that rich men can afford the same things as the government.

dont you think its weird that while the world is suffering and poverty is everywhere, where there's wars and climate change and human pain and homelessness. the same month I've watched people die on the news from unbearable heat and unprecedented flooding. that a rich handful of men are going to space, causing more carbon emissions. dont you think its weird that instead of putting their vast amount of money to use for good they're using it to find a way off the planet theyre destroying.

   His specialty is a military funded class called Battle Alchemy, which he starts off by inviting any of his students to beat him in hand to hand for a conditionless passing grade (by the end of the first class, most students walk away sore and horrified).

    It takes half  the semester before they realize that Ed continues to beat them even when they use alchemy and he does not. They ask to see him use alchemy in battle. The next day, a man who looks almost the same as their professor shows up to class- he’s softspoken and polite, and the students expect a substitute lecture. Ed sits in the stands and laughs as Al proceeds to fight the entire class at once, and beat all of them. The students never ask again.

  (And sometimes, in the middle of practicals, students swear they can see the Fuhrer watching from the edge of the field.)  

   I can also see him causing a hell of a problem when it comes to conventional textbooks- 

  “This is definitely wrong.” 

  “Sir, this is the most recently updated textbook for theoretical alchemy-” 

Adrinette: they’re friends at school, and while not Particularly close, they definitely like each other

Marichat: very good friends!!! Marinette thinks of Chat as one of her best friends in the whole world and Chat gets to see her loosen up in a way she never acts around Adrien!!! A very easygoing and comfortable relationship!!

Ladrien: the reason I say “only post-reveal” is because I cannot realistically see them being friends otherwise. They have each other on pedestals and have a very unhealthy view of themselves in comparison. But post-reveal? 🤌 *mwah* criminally underrated. Adrien gets to be the goofball shithead he’s meant to be because he knows she knows it’s just her silly cat :) and she’s his bff Marinette :)