Mind Clutter

reblog for the evening crowd :’T

#I work with enough  museum curators to be able to accurately picture their looks of absolute dead-eyed horror#at this meat-handed man pawing through the objects they’ve spent decades preserving#BUT ALSO IT’S HIS GODDAMN STUFF#so the mental image of the incredibly stiff and stilted surface-level polite conversation Steve would have with Smithsonian staff#both of them vibrating with indignation but unable to fully express it for PR reasons#is an endless source of entertainment for me via galwedenesday

#okay but where is the fic#where is the story about a beleaguered smithsonian curator named michelle who one day realizes she has ’S. Rogers’ on her schedule#which was made after her boss had a screaming match with somebody named Carlson or Coulson or Colton or something#which happened after that reaaaaaaal embarrassing ‘break-in’ which is in quotes#because fucking KYLE just LET Rogers IN#and when very nicely asked why the fuck he did that KYLE#said ‘i mean he’s captain america right? it’s his stuff isn’t it??’#and michelle’s boss went off to murder someone#and michelle just sighed and had josh bring kyle some coffee#and explained to kyle that no she really did have to fire him#he’s been a great security guard but he literally had one job to do#but then the day AFTER that#fucking KYLE comes waltzing back in with a fucking LETTER#from fucking CAPTAIN AMERICA#asking if ms. michelle onadiche could see her way to reinstating FUCKING KYLE#in exchange for ‘the property belonging to S. Rogers and housed at the Smithsonian Museum for purposes of edification to the public#and michelle very carefully puts her head on the desk and wonders who taught Steve Rogers to use ‘ms’ so meanly#anyway I’m just saying #avengers shmavengers (tags by @leupagus)

Omg this post is the best that has ever happened to me during a subway ride!

Smithsonian OPS are unionized, and if you think AFGE Local 2463 is going to let Kyle get fired in the first place, you’re sorely mistaken.

How does Aang factor into this? I ask because the more I think about it the more I want him to somehow be trying to capture the Avatar.

Aang is 112 years old, decided he was going to be Zuko’s airbending teacher, and refuses to take no for an answer

Aang: Aw, the new Avatar doesn’t want me. Aang: *gets out a weighted net* Time for Plan B then.

JDJSHJABDBFJSH

Look, you know how you keep a net from falling on you? YOU AIRBEND IT, SUCKA. Air comes right after fire in the cycle so it’s not like the guy has any other options. Do you want a flaming net falling on you? No? Then learn to airbend. Or this tiny old man will cart you away like a trussed turkey and lecture you about the power of laughter, going with the flow, opening your chakras, and other hippie shit.

Sokka, slouching against a fence, not moving: Oh nooooooo, that creepy old man stole the Avataaaaaaaaaar. Sokka, sitting down on the ground: We should dooooo something. Sokka, pulling out his lunch: Otherwise he might actually learn something. That would be teeeerrible. Katara, indignant rage coursing through her body: Sokka!!!!!!!! We have to go look for him!!!! Sokka: Might! Actually! Learn! Something! Katara! Katara: *wavers* Katara, also sitting down: We have to go look for him…. *gets out her own sandwich* But, maybe after lunch.

I love that this transforms Aang’s role in the full Team Avatar familial situation from the baby of the family to the Grandpa with weird hobbies

@ray10k

Sometimes Iroh plays paisho with Aang, whose entire disguise during these games consists of a painfully fake mustache.

AANG WAS THE OTHER PLAYER IN THAT SCENE OF COURSE IT’S PERFECT (the moustache is just a bit of Appa’s fur tied in a string)

oh my god, the lions just boppin’ along holy ffff

THIS IS MY 2018.

My life is now complete

Let’s all enjoy this one while we can. I can’t fucking believe this. 

For you, Mom :D @stellans

People who like rocks see cool rocks everywhere. People who like birds see interesting birds everywhere. The tree on your yard could be an exceptional specimen. The world around you could be amazing and magical, but you aren’t enough of a nerd to see it.

I gave my mum Alexandra Horowitz’s On Looking: Eleven Walks Through Expert Eyes for her birthday this year, it’s a book that revolves around this idea: the author invites 11 specialists in different things to walk around a boring city block with her one after the other so they can point out to her the things they see, that she doesn’t notice. There’s an expert in typography talking about what the variety of fonts on urban signs can tell you about the city’s history, an entomologist pointing out all the urban insects no one pays attention to, a geologist, a sound engineer…

THIS RIGHT HERE!!!

Accurate post is accurate.

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

Lame

For those in retail.

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water). Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

That last bit of commentary though.

You’d think that but I had once had to explain to a woman that I couldn’t “cut her hair longer.” Some people are actually just stupid.

i don’t want to achieve equality by sinking to men’s level, i want them to get on ours! why should i have to unlearn the conversational art of waiting my turn, unlearn sexual self-restraint, unlearn trust in others’ good intentions, unlearn the impulse to cater to others’ needs, just to have a chance at success among savages? why can’t the men learn some fucking manners so we can all conduct our affairs in a civilized manner? i shouldn’t have to stop saying sorry, you say sorry!

In the 80s when I was in my freshman year in college, they still had entirely separate mens and women’s dorms. I was in class waiting for a final to start and one of the guys was telling someone about how he had had to go into a women’s dorm to drop something off, and he was startled to see posters on the walls, flowers, curtains, etc. He said his men’s dorm had holes in the walls, things on fire, fights, guys walking around with open wounds and he just didn’t understand why they had to live like this. He said, “I want to live with the women, in civilization.”

Am reading Sisterhood of Spies, about women working for the OSS during WWII. One of the stories mentions that the women in London had a male visitor who would eat in their mess hall once a month. He was married and wasn’t interested in hitting on any of the women; he just wanted to eat in an atmosphere where people said “Please pass the butter,” instead of “PASS THE GODDAMNED GREASE”

I dated a guy who brought me along on group activities (movies, video game night, etc.) with four or five other male friends. Once I mentioned to one of the other guys that I hoped I wasn’t intruding on their “guy time” or some such. He got this sort of rueful look and said, “The truth is, I really like it when you’re here because it gives us a reason to act better. When it’s just guys, we all have to try to outdo each other with how vile we are.”

So the moral of these stories are men don’t even treat each other like human beings.

curiousgeorgiana

I need this.

Im in loveeeee

“are you a ‘wolf like me by tv on the radio’ werewolf, a ‘hungry like the wolf by duran duran’ werewolf, an ‘it will come back by hozier’ werewolf or a ‘hollow moon by awolnation’ werewolf?” is a questionable intrusive thought i just had, sure, but also a compelling buzzfeed quiz

This is “howl by Florence + the machine” werewolf erasure