comedic levels of cortisol

You don't like New Yawk? 🗽? Bada Bing?

no 🛩️

anotha one🛩️

This is the COOLEST thing I’ve seen in AGES. You both completely made my entire week.

The sheer energy. The beauty of this woman. The women hugging in the background. The man in rainbow parachute pants. This whole video is art.

This is what world peace looks like

christmas sucks again at my dumb fucking family's house

i just don’t feel like we as a society ever fully processed deedee megadoodoo

a cop pulls somebody over for a traffic stop when she gets flattened by a poop truck cause the driver of the poop truck was jerkin his shit nasty style and they report the cop’s name was deedee megadoodoo are you fucking with me right now????

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

I just saw the world's freshest baby in Panera bread. Like that thing was JUST out of the oven. I've heard of being wet behind the ears but this baby was wet behind the everything. It was still damp.

“We heard youse are behind on your payments to Fat Tony.”