PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Love Begins
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
sheepfilms
Kiana Khansmith
cherry valley forever
𓃗
shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Not today Justin
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
noise dept.
roma★
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Origami Around
One Nice Bug Per Day
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@lets-just-go-anywhere
random thing but i realized it might be helpful for some people so uh. theres this thingy where you can upload an image and it gives you a color palette based on it !
heres an example
and it also gives you the hex code values for them too its p neat !
here’s the link to the website !
please stop abusing your priveleges
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nothing will ever be funnier to me than the 30-50 feral hogs joke phase, I think about it at least once a week
Happy 30-50 feral hogs day
World heritage post
i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time
for the uninitiated
Love, love is a verb Love is a doing word Fearless on my breath...
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in my heart ilya does get off to the dynamic of the "bad boy seduced the golden boy of hockey" thing, which does make it especially funny after they're married because like
ilya, spent the day helping david and yuna reorganize their home office and put new shelves in, dropped by with lunch for shane at a shoot because he KNEW he wasn't going to like anything on offer, just ordered anya new little snow boots for her little baby paws because she doesn't like the velcro on her existing set and his sweet baby princess deserves what she wants forever, refilled shane's water bottle for him with ice water before beginning tonight's seduction because shane likes both cuddles and cold water afterwards so this way he can have both: i am a devious and sexy evil seducer who has TEMPTED YOU into my devious and sexy evil clutches >:)
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Golden Girls was more progressive decades ago than half of America now.
the intern is doing a funny montage video with a bunch of questions for the centaurs and they ask shane “what do you consider to be a perfect day?” and shane answers “any day i spend with ilya is a perfect day” and the intern’s like “but you spend every day with him” and shane just deadpans “yeah? it’s been perfect since i married him” and they ask “even when you guys lose?” and shane goes “if i lose, i still go home to ilya”. and then they ask the same question to ilya and he answers “a perfect day is when i spend every single hour with shane” and the intern says “shane answered the same way” and ilya’s like “really?” and the intern tells him “he said that every day has been perfect since you guys got married” and ilya gets a little emotional and asks softly “he said that?” and the intern nods and ilya just gets up and leaves to go find his husband because he needs to give him a big sloppy kiss immediately.
For realism in your fanfiction, an important cultural element to know about hockey twitter circa 2010-2020 is only fringe weirdos were fighting about if their ship was REAL or DELUSIONAL.... true hostile engagements were granular analysis of whose guy is the most unforgivably #problematic. Here are some helpful ideas to get you started on in-universe cancelations:
Ilya liking bisexual pegging porn on main (real event)
Ilya getting caught saying a slur on mic leading to additional discourse about how it's actually xenophobic to assume he knew what it meant in the first place
Ilya shaking putin's hand at the olympics
Scott hunter being noncommittal about You Can Play on multiple occasions
Scott hunter being a registered republican in 2012
Pervasive 10 year old rumor about Scott hunter having a threesome with his linemate during his rookie year (this person is the real winner)
Hayden pike going to a megachurch
Hayden pike thanking Jesus before his wife in post-game press when he scored a hat trick more than once
Shane promoting eating disorders by talking about his weird diet
Shane being controlling and a bad captain for forcing his weird diet on his team (this is reddit discourse though)
Shane tweeting #stopasianhate but not #blacklivesmatter
Shane catching amulet and antivaxxer strays due to his wacko nutrition/lifestyle coach
Interviews with hockey players are fantastic, because it is a complex game that can be spoken about at length, but during the intermission they'll find the Wettest player imaginable on the losing team and for thirty seconds they'll ask them things like "what do you need to do to get more pucks in the net?" And the player (panting, haunted behind the eyes) says something like "well, we've got to get them in there"
i think at a certain point shane would start getting seriously annoyed at the seemingly widespread idea that he's somehow supposed to be "controlling" ilya. maybe it starts off as a lighthearted joke with the way some of their friends will glance at him in anticipation when ilya says something particularly asshole-y like they expect him to tell ilya off. and at the beginning maybe shane somewhat gets it (but really though, he doesn't) because yeah it's his reputation in the league and maybe the rivalry plays a part in it too, especially for people who've never gotten to know him, but eventually, it just starts pissing him off
they're at the kingfisher after a game in new york and scott and some of the other admirals are there along with a majority of the cens and they're all having a good time. ilya and some random admirals player are chirping each other and ilya says something a little mean in the asshole way he does with a small tilt of his lips. and shane can suddenly feel eyes on him from scott and carter and troy and various other players, and for a second he doesn't get it. he doesn't get it, until all he does is snort in response, because well, it was true and also pretty funny and ilya really is the funniest person he knows, okay, and ilya nudges him with a small smile when he hears it, but then the stares slowly morph into something like confused gapes, and all of a sudden, he gets it. it's not the first time it happens and it definitely won't be the last, but shane starts noticing it a lot more and it continues to piss. him. the. fuck. off.
hayden giving him an expectant glance when ilya is half-yelling and groaning with a few cens in the bar at the soccer game on tv, like shane is for some reason gonna tell him to quiet down. scott giving him a quick side-eye when ilya chirps about his age on the ice, like shane is gonna tell him to stop; like he doesn't find the multiple layers to ilya's chirps to scott genuinely impressive, like he doesn't find it amusing. evan, though to his credit he was mostly joking, making a sly comment about shane needing to hold ilya back from fighting during a game, like shane would do that when ilya is well-fucking-aware of when to pick fights and when not to because he is the second-best hockey player in the league; like shane doesn't also find it unbearably hot when ilya has a little blood on his knuckles and dripping down the corner of his lips as he calls out mean little quips at the other team with a smirk on his face
because the thing about their relationship is that shane is undeniably attracted to ilya being an asshole. he thinks it's funny. it almost definitely also turns him on. and he likes when ilya is mean and smug and rowdy and a little shit. he likes when ilya is an asshole to him because that's their banter and their foreplay. he likes when ilya is an asshole to other people because he pretty much always thinks what ilya says is hilarious. (plus it's the fact that shane is also an asshole; it's just that ilya says it out loud more often than he does)
and so the thing about their relationship that, for some fucking reason, other people don't get is that shane, from the very beginning, has always and will continue to like when ilya is an asshole. and yes, they're married (shane also thinks some people seem to forget this, because why would shane marry ilya if he truly doesn't like ilya's personality. he thinks other people are a little stupid sometimes.) but they're also best friends and bond over being the best at what they do and how competitive they are and that they're both a little bitchy at times
long story short, i think that at some point during the first season of them playing together, all of the cens (and various other friends/players) eventually learn, as shane continues to not react the way they expect him to, that shane is THE biggest ilya enabler. he won't tell ilya off or nag him, but is actually probably standing a little off to the side with a tiny little smirk on his lips and hearts (and a little heat) in his eyes as he watches his husband
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i feel like the people aren’t crazy enough about bill woodward. he’s the most boring man alive. he’s divorced. he loves mamma mia. he doesn’t like his daughter’s stoner girlfriend. he’s gonna kick ted’s head. he drinks a shirley temple during the end of the world in case they need a designated driver. he spent like 100 dollars trying to win a carnival game so he can get a lame ass stuffed animal for his teenage daughter because she’s mad he dropped her phone. he loves his daughter so much he also has no idea how anything works. he’s paul’s best friend. he’s a little bit of a bitch sometimes. he gets a caramel frappe every day. he has genuinely one of the most gut-wrenching deaths in the entire starkid universe. he’s played by corey dorris what more do you people want.
ok but this unironically works. talk about how the working class is exploited and you can basically sell full-on marxism to your average republican if you do it right. all you have to do is avoid the words "Marx," "capitalism," "socialism," "communism," "means of production," etc - just use synonyms. say "big business" or "corporate shareholder interests" instead of "capitalists." say "a government that prioritizes the needs of the working people" instead of "socialism." it WORKS. I've DONE it. the hardest sell are usually things like social and racial equity, welfare, things like that, because people have been primed with the racist/classist idea that those things are somehow unfair - but you can get your foot in the door to getting them to buy into those too if you start with class issues. read up on your theory, make sure you REALLY understand your own ideology, because that will enable you to reword it and successfully sell it.
In my experience, you can often help sell 'welfare' stuff by appealing to self-interest with a touch of Aren't We Great.
Disability benefits: "I mean, sure, there are probably some sad sacks who are gaming the system, there always are, but hell, with the amount of taxes we pay, the government can afford a few freeloaders, right? I'd rather pay for a couple people who don't really need it than not have the system at all for if I need it, or my kids do, or whatever. I mean shit happens. What if some asshole drunk driver puts me in the hospital and it takes me a year to get back on my feet? Or Heaven forbid something permanent happens. I'll sure be glad that I can get disability then, won't I?"
UBI: "I dunno, the kind of guy who'll just sit on the couch playing Call of Duty all day if he doesn't have to work, I kinda don't want him on my job site anyway. That type is just taking up a place that you could fill with someone who'll actually get the job done, you know? You end up short-handed even though you technically have enough people because everyone else has to pick up his slack. And it'd mean that if your boss is a dick you can tell him to shove it and not worry your kids are gonna go hungry while you find a better place. We can sure as hell afford it."
Racial equity: "I've got a lot more in common with a Black guy who's just trying to get the job done than I do with some rich white asshole who thinks the sun shines out of his ass because of how much money mommy and daddy have."
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.
At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.
request for you to not be a bitch
request denied
shanebug photo album circa '91-93
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reblog if your name isn't Amanda.
2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!
We’ll find you Amanda.
world heritage post
I HAVE to reblog this eleven million note post. That’s the most notes I’ve ever seen on tumblr. Also my name is Jade, not Amanda.
