nice 2 bugs

I love when you go on a date with someone and you’re like. well that was neither wonderful nor horrendous. You seem Fine. I’m sure if this was the 18th century and we were gentry arranged married to secure our fathers respective land interests we would care for each other in our way. you would buy me nice horses that I really had no interest in but would admire how gentle you were with them and when I died in labor during my third pregnancy you would tell our surviving heirs that their mother was a handsome woman who never drank too much and embarrassed herself in company

The internet is a device which can be used to contact lesbians

pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say

Collecting books is great until you have to move all of them at once and realize that every one of the little bastards weighs about as much as a brick and collectively have the mass of a neutron star